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Ten pictures and ten stages of the chocolate production - linear process


andika08 81 / 80 16  
Nov 21, 2016   #1
The diagram shows the information about the stages in the chocolate production. Overall, the process involves ten steps people made linear process. The first step was find the source of chocolate from cacao tree and end results in pressed liquid chocolate.

The first stage of chocolate production, the chocolate can be found in South Amerca, Africa and Indonesia. Moreover, the cacao tree will produce the white cocoa beans. Moving to the another parts that the white cocoa beans should be fermented in the large box. As time goes on, the beans was put in the large box and was spread in sun to dry conditions. Furthermore, the beans was put in large sacks.

Turning to the shipment, the beans was transported by train and lorry to the factory. The beans was roasted in 350 o C. Furthermore, the outer shell was removed to get the beans. More broadly, the beans was crushed by machine. In the end of the stages, it was the crucial part that was inner part pressed then the liquid of chocolate was produced.




mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 21, 2016   #2
Dear Andika, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!

The first step was findis finding the source of chocolate ...

...the chocolate can be foundfind in South Amerca, Africa and Indonesia.

....the beans was putis putting in the large box and was spreadis spreading in sun to dry conditions.

...the beans was putis putting in large sacks.

...the beans wasare transported by train ...

The beans wasare roasted in 350 o C.

...the outer shell wasis removed to get the beans.

...the beans wasare crushed by machine.

Regards
ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Nov 21, 2016   #3
hello dika
I have some suggestions for you
hope it helps

... about the stages inon the chocolate production.
... steps people made with a linear process. The first step was to find the source (...) and endthe results in pressed liquid chocolate.

... in South Amerca, Africa,<<< using comma and Indonesia.

As time goes on, the beans wasare put in the large box ...
Furthermore, the beans wasare put in large sacks.

I think it better to use simple present

thanks
nda18 46 / 81 9  
Nov 21, 2016   #4
hi Dika, these are my thought towards your essay

...The diagram showsdiagrams show the information about...
[i think there are more than one diagram]

Overall, the process involves ten steps people ...
[ i have alternative sentence : Overall, the chocolate making process involves ten steps beginning from plant the cocoa trees to chocolate manufacturing in the factory. ]

... can be found in South Ameri ca, Africa and Indonesia...
... large box and was spread in sun to dry conditions.
[ ... the beans was pt in the large box, then it was spread in the board so it can be dried under the sun ]

... roasted in 350 o C (centigrade) .
... crucial part that was inner part was pressed then the liquid ...

thank you


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