Open carry and public safety
Some people believe that a police force carring guns will encourage a higher level of violence in society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
More and more countries start to allowed police officers carry guns at work.Some people think the regulation of policeman carrying guns will prompt social violence.I partly agree with this view.
Before we think about the carrying guns regulation,we must know that the guns carried by the police help to deter violent crime.The policeman who carry guns are specially trained by Authorised Firearms Officers.They will not hurt normal citizens.Also,guns can help police officers to stop and catch violent criminals more efficiently.It can deter perceived threats from protential criminals.On the meanwhile,police officer canuse guns to protect themselves against violent criminals.
On the other hand,if the police officers can not take a clear judgement of criminals,innocent people may be injured or even killed in police shooting.As a result,people's fear of crime and the rate of gun crime will increase.It is also detrimental to the building of harmonious and stable social environment.Imagine,when the crime starts on a street,not only do you need to be wary of harm from criminals,but you also need to aviod accidentally injure from the police,it seems too bad.Furthermore,criminals are more likely ro carry guns if they know that the police officers are armed with guns,which increase the invisible danger of crime.All in all,police officers should use their gun responsibily.
For the proper of the police's right to bear arms,there is still a ong way to go.Not only the government should checks the comprehensive quality of the police.All the police officers need to reflect themselves and thinl more before pull their guns.
Please help me check this article,thank you very much!
Hello dmdwx
Please pay attention to spelling and grammatical mistakes. Frequently making these errors will badly damage your lexical and grammar accuracy score.
The main idea of your body 1 is that carrying guns will help deter violence. However, the next 2 sentences do not support this idea. You can give example for the 3rd sentence such as 'shooting convicts in the legs will stop them from escaping the crime scene'. Again, self-protecting using guns has nothing to do with deterring violent crime.
Omit 'on the other hand'. This phrase doesn't contribute to your essay.
You mentioned that policemen are professionally trained so they won't hurt civilians then doubt their judgment in critical circumstances in paragraph 3. Try not to bash your own idea in the same essay.
IMO, you can stand in-between when it asks ' To what extent' but sitting a fence is really dangerous because you can easily conflict your ideas. Personally, I choose 1 side to agree with every time to minimize the risk of being unclear.
Hope you improve in your next works.
@dmdxw
Watch out for your small grammatical mistakes. I suggest looking into your usage of punctuation. This is easily fixed, so I don't feel as though I need to nitpick.
Review your usage of prepositions. For instance, in the last sentence of your second paragraph, you could have omitted "on the" and simply said "meanwhile" but you chose to merge them together. This causes unnecessary length that does not contribute anything substantial or technical to the essay.
When you're starting your essay, I suggest that you delve into questions that can help you develop the flow of thoughts in your essay.
You can these ones:
Why were police officers historically not allowed to carry guns at work?
What has happened in the world that has changed the policies regarding gun usage in the police force?
Why do people fear policemen carrying guns?
What does this signify about people's perception of local security forces?
Try your best to be particular when you are developing your narrative.
What type of training do these police officers go through?
Are there other safety nets imposed by the state or the country that can deter possible misuse of guns?
You may add statistics or first-hand data to back-up your essay.
Watch out for run-on sentences. As a general rule, remember that if you can cut sentences into two parts, opt to do. This can help make your essay less dragging to the readers. What you can do as well is to revise the essay until the flow and structure is better.
For instance, we can revise the second to the last paragraph's first sentence as:
Aside from that, the possibility of police officers to lack sensible judgement can cause the deaths of innocent lives.
Lastly, please reread your last paragraph. There were a few hanging lines that could be easily fixed.
@Maria
(*^▽^*)You gave me a very detailed line of thought，it's really useful to my writing,Thank you very much!
@coke
Thanks for your comment！
I still have big problem in wirting.By your suggestion,I will reorganize my article structure.ヾ(๑╹◡╹)ﾉ"
@Maria
(*^▽^*)You gave me a very detailed line of thought，it's really useful to my writing,Thank you very much!