A positive situation of owning a home rather than renting one

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people

In some countries, the think having themselves a home than renting one is very vital for people. In my opinion, this idea is a positive situation.

With the traditional hereditate from generation to generation, this idea has been take in people's mind many years. Having a home than renting one is the most important thing in some people's life.

Firstly, owning a home makes the life of they more steady. They don't have to worry about where i have to go after work everyday or this month will i have enough money to pay the renting home. As a results, the quality of their life will be higher. Secondly, with the think that they must have a home theirselves, they will have more encourage in work and life to reach the goal. This mean they have to more focus and try hard in daily life.For example, a person want to buy a home hiself, he has to work hard and has a plan to save his money for that purpose. Futhermore, owning a home not only make people have a steady situation in quality and quantity but also create a peaceful mind to themselves.

In conclusion, I think the idea having a home themselves than renting one is very necessary in people' life. To have a better life, they should own a home.

In a highly specific instance, a task 2 essay will receive a failing score even before all sectional scoring considerations are applied. The immediate failing score is achieved by not meeting the minimum word count of 250 words. When an essay contains say, 223 words (as this one does), then the examiner will apply word count deductions based on the number of words missing. Upon application, the preliminary score is already a failing one based on the word count technicality. So, even without reviewing the sectional problems of this essay, I can already safely say that the essay will not receive a passing score.

A quick review of the restatement and writer's opinion shows that the writer has not correctly formed the topic sentence, hence the lack of logic in his statement. Wrong word choices in the same sentence also show a high unfamiliarity with the English language and will add to his sectional deductions. Your writer's opinion presentation is also incomplete as you only present a quick response to one of the two questions, thus making the response inaccurate / incomplete for the purpose of task accuracy.

Your response format is highly inaccurate as he fails to provide the correct 3-5 sentence discussions per paragraph for each question. The GRA score of the essay, along with the C+C section will not be considered for a passing score because of these incomplete thought presentations and under developed reasoning paragraphs. The conclusion does not fair well either. It does not follow the correct summary conclusion format as depicted in the requirements. As such, this is an essay that will not even come close to a base passing score. It is definitely a failing essay presentation.

Regarding the introduction, I think the sentence "In my opinion, this idea is a positive situation" is wrongly written since an idea cannot itself be a situation.

Although key kouns are repeated,you have not used proper alternatives for the phrases that need paraphrasing, leading to numerous repetitions. For example, "owning a house" can be well replaced by "house ownership", "possessing a house", or "living in a self-owned home", to name a few. This lack of alternatives could lead to additional deductions in the LR (Lexical resource) section.

Please watch out your grammar. Instead of saying "home makes the life of theymore steady", you can say "their life". Do not mix it up your sentence, For example, "They don't have to worry about where ihave to go after work everyday.....", please make it clear who are you referring to. etc..

Hi @han0212!
There is one mistake that I noticed in your essay is the word "theirselves". It has to be "themselves". Not only one word "themselves", the ways you write reflexive pronouns are all incorrect.

I - myself
You - Yourself/Yourselves
He - Himself (not "hiself" as you write in your essay. I do not know whether you make mistake with typing)
She - Herself
We - Ourselves
They - Themselves
It - Itself.
Hope that this comment is beneficial for you!