This essay will elaborate on several reasons why I partially agree with this statement.
You will receive a higher score if you instead frame your writers opinion as follows:
I partly agree with this statement because of 2 reasons. First... Second...
Using the aforementioned format meets all the requirements for a clear writer's opinion + an effective thesis statement. Where a thesis statement is not present, a full writer's opinion score will not be provided.
To commence with,
This is an unnecessary introduction. Use an anchor sentence instead. An anchor sentence is the opening sentence that introduces the reason that you will be discussing in the paragraph. It creates a smoother flow within the paragraph and aids in paragraph transition.
The summary conclusion is not going to get a passing score since it does not contain the required 40 word / 2 sentence requirement. While your effort to create a passing essay is commendable, I do not believe you are at the passing level yet.