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TOEFL _ what do you prefer to be? a leader or a member of a group?


moonname 6 / 14 2  
Sep 27, 2013   #1
Although being a member of a group usually seems much simpler task and maybe most of people prefer not to accept responsibility of being a leader, I have always been eager to be the leader of a group. I am an innovative person who always has a lot of comments for any problem and also I am reliable person and can shoulder heavy responsibilities so well.

Firstly, I never give up and I always find some responsive solutions to any problem. In hardships I have showed my special abilities and I was effective in many situations; because of these characteristics, most of my friends and my family believe in me and refer to me in their difficult situations. I have almost always been handy for them. For example, I could survive my father from a business scandal and I helped one of my friends to solve his deep problems with his family; actually, as he always mentions, I survive him from a serious psychological disaster.

Besides, I am a reliable person who bears important responsibilities. The way in which I grew up makes me a powerful person who can faces different situations and even sacrifices oneself for others. I have had various responsibilities since my childhood and I have proved my capability to be a responsible leader a lot of time. For example, in our school trips I was the unique leader of student group. I was also the most important candidate in the school council. Meanwhile, I am a successful manager in my workplace.

To sum up, I always prefer to be an effective leader instead of being a neutral member. I always have some novel suggestions to overwhelm problems and also I am always ready to accept responsibility; hence, these characteristics deserve me to be an excellent leader.

dumi 1 / 6,929 1592  
Sep 29, 2013   #2
For example, I could survive my father from a business scandal and I helped one of my friends to solve his deep problems with his family

For example, I helped my father survive from a business scandal and assisted one of my friends to solve his deep emotional issues with his family.

For example, in our school trips I was the unique leader of student group. I was also the most important candidate in the school council. Meanwhile, I am a successful manager in my workplace.

... this example is not very relevant to your reason. give a better reason,
Overall, this is good writing, You follow the right structure too :)
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Sep 30, 2013   #3
The way in which I grew up makes me a powerfulstrong person who can facesface different situations (how?) and even sacrifices oneselfmyself for others.

...." powerful" is not so appropriate because it deals with power and that can be external sources. (e.g. political background, family background, money etc.) Strong supports to express your capability better.

The way I grew up made me a strong personality that can face difficult situations very effectively even making sacrifices to help others in need.


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