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"Preparation Produces Opportunity" (A quote and how it relates to your life)

CantWrite 1 / 1  
Sep 21, 2009   #1
So I have to write an english essay, first one for the year, and I kinda hated my first draft so I totally redid it and now, one day before it is due, I have no one reliable to proof read it. So if you could please give your thoughts on it/spelling/grammar it would be appreciated.

So here is the subject:
Using your chosen quotation, you will write a personal essay that examines how the theme expressed in the quotation relates to your own personal experiences of life. In other words, you are to explain what the quotation means to you and how you have or would like to apply its wisdom to areas of your life.

-> Formal language but words such as "I" and "We" are allowed
-> Be specific

Ok so here it is (ignore the citation stuff, I will add those in soon):

Throughout our lives, we come across many favorable circumstances but due to being lethargic, timid, or sluggish, we often fail to grab them. Opportunities are often hidden and veiled, and many fail to recognize them and seize them. This is the underlying principle of the famous words by B.C. Forbes:

"Opportunity can benefit no man who has not fitted
himself to seize it and use it. Opportunity woos the worthy,
shuns the unworthy. Prepare yourself to grasp opportunity,
and opportunity is likely to come your way. It is not so
fickle, capricious and unreasoning as some complain."
It is true that we must be ready to seize any and every opportunity we get, from the smallest to the largest. Furthermore, opportunity only comes to those who are well prepared and ready to take advantage of it. Moreover, it is seldom, if ever, the case that an advantageous situation has not presented itself to a person, but merely that it has not been noticed or identified. These words by B.C. Forbes are absolutely correct in that we must be ready to seize any opportunity we glimpse and it has had a monumental impact on my existence to this day.

It is often the case that opportunities are not seized because they look like hard work, or seem too small and insignificant to be of much value but this is completely false. I found out that we must be ready to take advantage of any and every situation we get, no matter how insignificant or small. This is summarized by Og Mandino who once said: "Opportunities, many times, are so small that we glimpse them not and yet they are often the seeds of great enterprises." (Citation) What he means by this is that opportunities are hard to recognize and so you must be ready to identify and seize it, something I found out during a sale at a local store. I kept putting off a purchase due to being lethargic, convincing myself every day that it would still be there at the same price the next day, which was not the case a week later. In this, I learned that you must always be ready to seize any opportunity or it will pass you by, much like Forbes said. This event reflects Forbes' words on opportunities and is one way in which this quote has played a role in my life.

While it may be necessary to seize an advantageous situation as soon as you notice it, this situation will never create itself if you do not prepare for it. To illustrate my point, Channing Pollock once said: "Opportunity rarely knocks until you are ready. And few people have ever been really ready without receiving opportunity's call." The meaning of this is that opportunity will not make itself known to you unless you prepare for it. This can also be shown with an example from my life, when my parents were back in India. They had thoroughly prepared to emigrate to Canada and had been waiting for a chance to make the move. Eventually, they did receive an opportunity to do so and since they were well prepared, they were able to take it. Thus it is true that opportunity only makes itself known to people that are prepared to take it and applies greatly to my past, present, and future.

It is said that opportunity does not present itself to those who do not seek it out or try and identify it. This is true to a large extent and as said by Francis Bacon: "If a man looks sharply and attentively, he shall see fortune; for though she be blind, yet she is not invisible" (Citation). The basic meaning of this quote is that you have to seek out or pay attention to see opportunity even when it is not presenting itself to you and it seems there is none. This is true for many people who wait idly by in wait of opportunity rather than seeking it out themselves. This situation has applied to my life many times, one of which was when I decided to seek out universities that I was interested in early rather than wait until the last couple of months. This gave me and advantage in that I found my interests and got a better view on my situation and possible future. Therefore, it is completely necessary apprehend any opportunities we spot and it has had a deep impact during the course of my life.

It is unarguable that we must be ready to seize any opportunity or advantageous situation and it applies greatly to my life. Throughout our life, we must be ready to capitalize on any chance we get, whether it is small or large. As well, we have to prepare in advance for such a situation where there may be an advantage for us. Accordingly, we must actively seek out and try to identify any these opportunities that wear a thin veil. Doc Sane once wrote that: "Opportunity is as scarce as oxygen; men fairly breathe it and do not know it."(Citation).

Thanks for the help : )

EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Sep 22, 2009   #2
Your introduction is lovely, and the substance of the essay is very strong. My chief complaint is your reliance on the "it is" formulation (and its variants) to start paragrahs:

It is true...
It is often the case...
While it may be necessary...
It is said...
It is unarguable...

Contrast these first lines with the first line of your introduction, and you will see what I mean. You can often simply strike those phrases:

It is said thatO pportunity does not present itself to those who do not seek it out or try and identify it.

It is unarguable thatW e must be ready to seize any opportunity or advantageous situation and it applies greatly to my life.

Finally, I am very sorry to see your user name. Don't let it become a self-fulfilling prophesy. You can write. Believe it, and you will be better able to do it.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Sep 24, 2009   #3
I don't want to start a new topic and clutter up the message board.

I merged the threads: Forum policy is one thread per essay.

I tried to avoid it in this new one. Key word is TRIED = P

Good job, but I still see:

It is unarguable that you must be prepared to seize an opportunity and the immense impact it has had on my life.

Besides the unfortunate "it is unarguable that..." this sentence goes complete astray midway, ultimately making no sense at all. Perhaps you inadvertently merged two sentences?

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