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IELTS WT2: Preservations of Museums and artworks


Inspired2012 4 / 20 6  
Nov 16, 2012   #1
Museums and artworks are important for the country, for the history, and culture from international down to the local arena. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement and give your opinion.

Preservation of history is very vital in determining the present identity of a certain country. Reliving the past through museums and artwork displays bring people back to where it all started. It is agreed that both are very valuable for the country, for history and culture, whether its is from international or local aspects. The proof of how a country lives the way it is now and how people from the past helps to shape a nation as it is seen when you visit a Museum will serve as evidences of this argument.

Firstly, the root if how a country developed into a certain way of governing its people will be witnessed from having a tour at a Museum. Take Philippines as a democratic country for example, by visiting our national Museum, people will see how we ended up as a free country only by looking at photographs and videos found inside this place. Without the existence of Museums in the future, people can only rely on textbooks to witness a country's history which will be unfortunate for many.

Secondly, apart from figures and documentary paintings in the museum, sculptures of people and their name encrypted on the wall of Museums help people recognize their national heroes. For instance, Jose Rizal, a Philippine national hero, was well known for his real life act of bravery can be seen in a sculpture where he made a face to face contact with his shooter in the midst of killing him. This special artwork is presented to make people recognize the value of what he had done for the independence status of the country. It is then clear that a certain piece of artwork possess a great historical value.

Historical preservations are vital for it serves as a trade name for one's nation, which are established in Museums and artworks, which in the end, will benefit the future generation. I tend to recommend that the highly maintenance of this facility should be supported by many.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Nov 16, 2012   #2
Hi Inspired,

I'm marking and giving you every little bit that I think a better way of expressing. It does not mean that you write bad, but I want to work with you for you to get your desired score. So, just pay a little attention and don't be discouraged that you don't do well.... ok? : )

Preservation of history is very vital in determining the present identity of a certain country nation (nation is a better word because it involves the people of that country). Reliving the past through museums and artworksdisplays(the prompt treat them as two different things, so maintain it) bring people back to where it all started. It is agreed that both are very valuable for the country, for history and culture, whether its is from both international or local aspectsperspectives . The proof of how a country lives the way it is now and how people from the past helpshave helpedto shape a nation as it is seencan be seen when you visit a Museum will serve as evidences of this argument .

Well... you have a few issues with grammar in this intro, which I have not seen in your previous essays. May be you are under stress now. Forget it.... what has happened is now in the past and we must strive for a better score now. So, my advice is to try with simple, yet interesting sentences. They help you manage time too. I follow this structure for the intro- 1. Briefly introduce the topic; e.g.

Museums and artworks contribute a lot to preserve the identity of a nation and make them more patriotic. From the international perspective too, they not only unfold the evolution of mankind and the entire eco system, but also help nations to learn valuable lessons from the past that help them rectify present and future mistakes.

2. State your opinion: Therefore I agree with this statement.
I generally introduce the topic; then state my opinion and briefly explain the reasons. Here I included the reasons together with the intro to the topic.

Practise this structure ... it would be helpful... I'll soon come with my suggestions on other parts. Also read others essays too. They will give you points. See whether you can google and get Jason Ranshow's website for TOEFL independent writing task.... his tips are quite good and helpful for IELTS too


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