Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Prison or education is the greater way in dealing with crime problems



letrandaohoa 2 / 4  
Jul 31, 2019   #1
Topic: Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

looking for a crime fix



Although prison is an effective way to control illegalities, improvements in education help to eliminate the problem from its root. In my opinion, I completely disagree that education is the greater one as it is impossible to compare these two methods' usefulness.

On the one hand, prison is indeed helpful in dealing with offenders. To explain, a person who commits a crime must learn that illegal activities have consequences. For example, murderers must be imprisoned for many years due to their heinous actions , and such punishments may act as a deterrent. Another reason is that guardhouses are the place to keep people who have broken the law contained and ensuring the safety of other citizens. This would be a good solution to reduce the crimes rate.

On the other hand, I consider that education also has a role to play as a remedy for the origin of crimes. To begin with, education contributes remarkably to heighten people's awareness of crime problems. With acess better education services, the public would be more well-informed about the damage that committing crimes would cause to their community and themselves. Additionally, types of education such as vocational training could secure a person's stable life. This way helps the government to create numberous job opportunities for every persons, which would dispel any ideas of committing crimes.

In conclusion, it seems to me that there is no absolute way to find out whether prisons or advancements in education would be successful in solving crime problems as they both have their distinctive features.

Maria - / 1096  
Jul 31, 2019   #2
@letrandaohoa
Hi there. It's good to see you coming back again! I hope you find this next writing feedback to be helpful as well for your endeavors.

I applaud you for your grasp of the language. You had clarity and integrity in your composition, making the text easy to dissect for individuals who are reading it. My primary suggestion would be to focus heavily on the overall rhythm of your text. Watch over the structure and the lack of punctuation. Without these pauses, your sentences would appear to be rather run-on rather than functional. Apply this especially to the middle sections of your body paragraphs where your composition somehow becomes troublesome because of the lack of structure.

Hope this helps you.
OP letrandaohoa 2 / 4  
Aug 1, 2019   #3
@Maria
Aloha. I'm really grateful for your advices and suggestions on my essay. I'll definately take this as my note.
Thank you and hope to see you soon


Home / Writing Feedback / Prison or education is the greater way in dealing with crime problems
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳