IELTS task 2: problems in big citties/ main problems and solutions

Life in a metropoly

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life
What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled?

Citizens who live in big cities are facing a lot of troubles every day. This problem is caused by some factors, and it should be dealt with by some effective solutions.

There are some reasons why people now have to face serious risks when they live in a large city. Firstly, due to the atmosphere of big cities is so polluted. The number of emissions released from vehicles such as cars, light motorcycles may be inhaled by drivers who might face the danger of respiratory diseases when they are in traffic. Secondly, the high cost of living is a serious problem in big cities, especially capitals. Monthly rent prices in metropolises are much higher than in other cities. For example, my brother staying in the inner-city of Ha Noi has to pay a huge amount of money to rent an apartment that is mainly expensive than their counterparts in the Ha Noi'suburb.

Feasible solutions should be implemented to tackle these aforementioned problems. The first measure would be to develop new public transports that can minimize air pollution. Emissions from private cars are a major cause of air pollution as they contain a relatively high proportion of pollutants. If citizens get used to public service vehicles, it will reduce exhaust fumes from the private automobiles. Additionally, there are a lot of houses which can help renters split the costs of accommodations. Homestay is a great example where everyone shares electric bills, rent.

In conclusion, there are some reasons why living in big cities faces many issues, and some measures could be taken to solve this problem.

Line one is missing punctuation and is too broad a statement. Lines 1-4 need to list specific reasons for your statement that it is problematic to live in large cities. Also, when stating effective solutions are needed, give a brief overview of your ideas of what would constitute an effective solution.

"Firstly, due to the atmosphere of big cities is so polluted." Try rewording this statement and give more detail. Reading what you have written out loud can give you a better idea of how you sound to an audience.

Line 2, 3rd paragraph, replace the comma with the word "and", or think of another motor vehicle that puts out large amounts of emissions and punctuate accordingly.

Last line, 3rd paragraph, can you give examples of the amount of money for both rents to give detail and credibility to your statement?
Paragraph 4 is very good, just take out the comma and insert the word "and" before "rent".

Last paragraph, restate the problems and the solutions in one or 2 sentences.

Your Opening is quite vague as you mentioned "some factors" and "some solutions". The same with your Ending "some reasons", "some measures"; these phrases are similar.

You are likely to repeat the same structure "some ....". There are other ways to express that; for example, "numerous reasons" , a variety of reasons, "various reasons", " a multitude of reasons", "multiple reasons"...