What problems do children face in the age of social media?

With the development of information technology today, the children taking part in social media have various usefulness.
However, when children join network environment, they also have to face with many risks.
With an excessive utilization of social media, it may lead to negative impacts on children and teenagers in mental health, movement disorders, and eating disorders.

There are also changes in daily behavior such as increased irritability, increased anxiety, increased depression, increased sleep issues, lack of self-esteem, lack of focus and concentration

It's very difficult to give up or limit time using social media. The fear of missing out or FOMO, is real.
Youth can become victims of cyberbullying, harassment, threats, or shame when they access information, images, and content that is not suitable for development according to their age.

They may also become cybercriminals when there are more opportunities to engage in online harassment.
It cannot be easy for children and teenagers to know what should share or should not be online.
Information leaks can lead to them being targeted for fraud, sexual exploitation, blackmail, and even being sold illegally produced drugs.
There is a risk of engaging in challenges or imitating harmful situations online, and sometimes putting them into physically dangerous situations.

I am not sure if this was written as an IELTS or TOEFL practice test. Perhaps it was just meant to be an English language test? It is important for me to know what sort of writing this was made for so that I can give applicable advice, based upon the test or writing requirements.

As an English exam test, it is going to receive an automatic failing mark as it is under the minimum 250 word count for both the IELTS and TOEFL test. However, as a writing practice essay, it should be well within the word requirements of the class. Again, not knowing what I am reviewing for is proving to be a problem when it comes to advising you. The essay simple and easy enough to understand though.

@Holt
Good morning,
I am learning for speaking Ielts Test.
I am new, so I think I cant speak if I dont prepare anything.
But It's not urgently, so when you have free time, please kindly help me to correct it.
I just learn by myseft. And I am really happy when you answer my post.
Thank you so much.

I actually don't think it's a good idea to write as a mean of preparation for speaking. Because when you go to the ielts speaking test, part 1 & 3, you need to answer questions right after listening to it. Part 2 is a long run speech, so you need to be able to think and keep talking at the same time. By writing, you have time to think and correct your own answer. I know it can be intimidating to speak when your mind is completely blank, yet you need to practise in a wise way.

Thank you so much.

Could you correct my post ?