Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS Writing Task 2: Problems and Solutions Small Business

ulfaidrus 3 / 2  
Nov 16, 2018   #1

forms of support for small businesses

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they are unable to compete with multinational corporations. What are the problems of this cause and how can those problems be solved?

Due to the fact that many micro domestic enterprises are hard to survive in the global market competition, they are experiencing a dire pressure to be closed down. As this phenomenon may lead to the root of many problems, poverty, the government should improve their business by providing a loan as well as conducting entrepreneurship training programs.

The most immediate problem caused by stopping people to run their businesses is they will lose their livelihood. Unfortunately, it is then more often than not to them to be able to get a new job in the near future. Thus, it will weaken their purchasing power to fulfill their family's daily needs which then, in the long run, the accumulation of these problems may lead to other worse, wider problems, such as the high crime rate, low nutrition intake, and decreasing gross domestic product.

Based on the aforementioned troubles, this issue should be anticipated quickly such as by lending businesspersons with a loan through national banks since one of the reasons why they are hard to compete is the lack of capital to run their business. To ease them amortizing it, the calculation of the interest should depend on their profit. Besides, the community needs workshops about entrepreneurship in order that they know how to conduct market research, calculate their profit margin, and improve both quality and the uniqueness of their products. This is because business consultants claim that 90% of business failure is caused by the management inadequacy which is shared to 48% for incompetence and 42% for inexperience.

To sum up, instead of forcing entrepreneurs to stop their business that may lead to poorness, it is imperative for the authorities to empower them with not only a soft loan but also training to compete against international industries.
jalp 13 / 34 7  
Dec 1, 2018   #2

I think that you do not say everything in your introduction. State that there are problems and solutions that will be discussed further.

'caused by stopping people to run their businesses'

The question is about why small companies lose to big companies, your body did not explain that, rather focused on what will happen to these small companies and effects of losing.

Second body is good, the solutions are great, however, you do not state percentage because you do not have the data to prove your statistics.

Either way, I hope you pass your IELTS.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Problems and Solutions Small Business