WRITING TASK 1 - PROCESS - How drinking water is made using solar power.

- The topic:"The diagram below shows how drinking water is made using solar power. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant."
- The essay:
"The illustrative drawing demonstrates the production of drinking water using power for solar.
In general, there are six stages included in the process. It begins with the light from the sun absorbed by the solar panel and the last stage is to package drinking water in a moveable container.
The first step is to use solar panels to absorb the sunlight. Subsequently, the energy is converted into a converter. The process continues with the stage when the converted energy is used to generate a pump in an underground well.
In the next step, the water in the underground well is pumped into a water tank on a wooden platform. In the water tank, there is a smaller one to treat the water so the water in the underground well is purified into drinking water. The last stage of the process is transmitting the drinking water into a moveable container by opening a tap."

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Do not fall into the habit of writing the essays, be it in task 1 or 2, in a quoted format. There is no need to use quotation marks in your presentation. That will lower your GRA score tremendously because it shows that you are not capable of writing in a proper essay format.

The summary overview must be completed over a 2 sentence presentation. Do not compress the presentation into 1 sentence. You have a 5 sentence allowance per paragraph. Use one idea per sentence and fully utilize the sentence allowance per paragraph.

Fix your paragraph presentations. You are placing the topic sentences at the end of the paragraph when it should be placed as the first sentence in each explanation paragraph. The main problem with this essay this time, is in the GRA section. The sentence structure should be corrected to show a clearer thought presentation regardless of the type of sentence presented (e.g. simple, complex, compound).

@halinhislearning
The first step is to use solar panels to absorb the sunlight. Subsequently, the energy is converted into a converter.
I don't think using converted - converter in the same sentence is alright, try using other synonym.
Theprocess continues with the stage when the convertedenergy is used to generate a pump in an underground well.
Since you are talking about the same process use "this" and also you can use "the produced energy is utilized" instead of used.

In the sentence 'The process continues with the stage when the converted energy is used to generate a pump in an underground well,' it would be clearer to say 'to power a pump' instead of 'generate a pump.' This change makes it easier to understand the function of the energy.