So i have to write a process essay for my Freshman Comp class. Looking for some help with grammar and maybe idea development. I Diddnt do as well as i would have liked on my last essay due to grammar problems. So all help is appreciated. sooo PLEASE HELP ME FIND AND FIX GRAMMAR MISTAKES!
Water Polo
"If you get out of the pool without scratches and bruises... You weren't playing hard enough." Water Polo is undoubtedly the most physically demanding sport, and involves a mental aspect like no other. Not only is Water Polo one of the most fun sports to play; it is also an amazing spectator sport. For a first time viewer it could be very confusing to watch, and many of the referees' calls will not make sense. This guide will make the watching the sport much more understandable for a first time viewer.
Water Polo has been in the Olympics since the early 1900's; it is a game of perseverance, speed, and stamina. Players can never touch the bottom or sides of the pool. This makes stamina a key aspect of the game; as treading water becomes the time for players to rest. Water Polo players use a special form of treading water called the, "Egg-Beater," which requires much less energy and allows easy movement to any direction. Speed is required to score. Without speed, the defenders will easily be able to cover the offence, and keep them from being open. For most water polo players, moving quickly with the ball can be tough, making passing the key way to move the ball quickly down the pool.
Water polo is a contact sport, and with all contact sports there is necessary gear. In the pool it is required to wear a special cap with hard ear covers, very similar to wrestling head gear. These caps help identify team members and protect the ears from damage, helping to prevent cauliflower ear or other ear injuries. It is required that all players wear matching Speedos to avoid any confusion. The goals sit on both ends of the pool inside of the water, and vary in size, (with regulation minimums and maximums) depending on the pool, and preference of the home team. If a pool has one deep end and one shallow end, teams must switch sides every quarter due to a goalie advantage of being able to touch bottom; this allows the goalie to stay rested, and it is much easier to score on a goalie who is egg-beatering rather than one who is standing.
The object of the game is much like soccer, just moving the ball from one end to the other and making it into the goal, which is protected by a goalie. Turnovers are frequent, and games are often low scoring; this is because of all the ways to get a turnover. Obviously, a defender can just block a shot and get the rebound, or just steal the ball from the offence. There are also certain rules that will cause a turnover: players can never touch the ball with two hands at once, touch the bottom of the pool (except the goalie, depth of pool permitting), or bring the ball under water; each results in a change of possession. If a player uses contact above the water while a player does not have the ball, this causes an exclusion to the player who made the foul, often referred to in the water as "Man down", and the defense must play through the exclusion with one less player. An exclusion lasts thirty seconds, or until a change of possession occurs.
Water Polo consists of four quarters, each lasting seven minutes. Each team has two time-outs per half, and the clock is often stopped while the referee makes a call, leaving the players out in the pool treading water until play is resumed. If scoring results in a tie, the game goes into overtime; which is two, three minute quarters. Each team has seven players in at all times; six in the field and one goalie who cannot pass half court. All seven players must play both offence and defense, especially the six in the field.
Scoring is where the smartest teams do best. On offence it is important to always keep a clear mind, and be ready to make a play happen in just seconds. Getting the ball into the goal is much tougher than it appears. Driving a ball directly into the goal typically does not work, so passing is necessary to make a shot. The best way to score is to "set the hole"; the hole is the player closest to the goal on offence and is covered by a strong defender, and closely watched by the goalie. "Setting" would be to give a wet pass to the hole outside of the defenders reach. From the hole set position the ball can easily be tossed into the goal. There are various shots that are used on offence: a typical forward dry shot, coming out of the water, and shooting the ball in the direction the player faces; the backhand, which is a simple backwards side-arm shot (a favorite for the hole), and both the push shot and tee shot; both are wet shots done while swimming forward with the ball in front of the player.
"Offence wins games, defense wins championships." This phrase could very easily have been made about water polo. Defense is a key part of the game, and everybody in the pool must play it. All six players in the field must swim back and protect the goal. If even one player decides not to swim back to play defense; it creates a weak point, and makes for an easy goal by the opposing team.
Water polo is among the toughest of all the sports, requiring more stamina and perseverance than any. Contemporary water polo was started in America on the West Coast in California, and spread across the United States. Even though it was started in the 1900's; it has changed significantly since then, and is becoming increasingly popular across the United States, and at ******* **** School.
Edit: removed school name
Water polo is among the toughest of all the sports, requiring more stamina and perseverance than any. Contemporary water polo was started in America on the West Coast in California, and spread across the United States. Even though it was started in the 1900's; it has changed significantly since then, and is becoming increasingly popular across the United States, and at ******* **** School.
This is your conclusion right now. It functions weakly as a conclusion and ought to go in the introduction instead, in between what are now your first and second paragraphs.
This leaves you needing a conclusion. I suggest that you write a summarizing conclusion that briefly mentions the "process" elements of the essay. While you're at it, make sure that the body of the essay meets the requirements that your instructor has spelled out for a process essay. (Composition instructors differ about this, so I don't want to make any specific recommendations there.)
Your grammar is quite good, with no glaring errors. I do see some spots where your wording could be better. Particularly, I notice an over-reliance on "it is" as a way of starting sentences or phrases.
For example:
In the pool it is required to wear a special cap with hard ear covers, very similar to wrestling head gear.
should be "In the pool, players must wear..."
