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TOEFL ESSAY: professional athletes or performers shouldn't be involved in politics.


akiraaa 7 / 20 2  
Nov 16, 2015   #1
Subject : Do you agree or disagree that: professional athletes or performers shouldn't be involved in politics.

Nowadays, it is not surprising to find that increasingly celebrities are involved in politics. They are former professional athletes or actors. After retirement, some of them may be elected as a governor in a state, or even the president like Reagan. This phenomenon certainly attracts people's attentions. As to me, I think that celebrities involved in politics has both advantage and disadvantage, depending on their contributions to the society.

For the good part, professional athletes and performers can use their popularity influences to improve the situation of their professional fields. That means, they can contribute to improving their career's living situations by using their influence. For instance, Den Yaping, one of the best table tennis players in the history, became a member of International Olympic Committee after her retirement. She worked in ethics and athletes commissions and continued to fight for athlete's rights in the world.

Meanwhile, despite their special statuses, they are normal human beings that can express their opinions and change their careers freely. Reagan, the president of United States, once was an actor in Hollywood. After being elected as the president, he revolutionized the American economic system through tax rate reduction, which were admired by people at that time and finally lead the economic growth. His success strongly proves that one with wise decisions can also succeed in politics no matter what he used to be.

As for the disadvantage, people may question about that their are lack of professional backgrond of politics, causing that they may fail to represent popular opinions. In other words, people once believe that they can speak out for them. However, these celebrities let them disappointed because of their superficial knowledge. A worker in Hollywood once complained that these celebrity politicians do not have a clear understanding of how they live, what they fear, and what they support.

To sum up, celebrities do have great influence in the society and some of them do a great contribution to the world. What is important that these celebrities must do fully preparation and have profound understanding about politics before they choose to become politicians. Otherwise, it will cause people's complaints and disappointment.

Well, I'm not satisfied with my essay this time because i think it's hard for me to develop this topic.I use Reagan and Deng Yaping as examples. But i don't know how to develop them well. I'd appreciate a lot if you give the advice on my essay,whether on the content or the grammar.

Deepamar 2 / 7 1  
Nov 16, 2015   #2
As to me, I think that celebrities involved in politics has both advantage and disadvantage, depending on their contributions to the society.
According to me the involvement of celebrities in politics is a crucial decision, as they will always be judged by the contributions to the society.

That means, they can contribute to improving their career's living situations by using their influence.
With this they can efficiently improve their career's living situations by using their influence.

I am in little hurry will come back and reply more.

Regards
Deepamar
TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Nov 16, 2015   #3
I agree this is a tough topic. Some others celebrities-cum-politicians are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jessie Ventura, but I don't know if they were as successful as Reagan and to be honest, I don't know much about their political careers. Here are some comments on your grammar and sentence structures.

Well, I'm not satisfied with my essay this time because i think it's hard for me to develop this topic.I use Reagan and Deng Yaping as examples. But i don't know how to develop them well. I'd appreciate a lot if you give the advice on my essay,whether on the content or the grammar.
OP akiraaa 7 / 20 2  
Nov 17, 2015   #4
Thanks for revising

TJLuschen

!

I think you give me valuable advice on my misuse of pronouns.Uncleared pronouns really make readers confused.I will pay more attention on this problem next time.

Btw,it would be great if you could share with your opinions about this topic.I'm really panic if i face it in the real test.While,if you wouldn't like to share,it doesn't matter.

Have a nice day:)


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