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TV programmes Australian viewers charts - IELTS (Task 1)

NourNour 22 / 39 7  
May 6, 2016   #1
The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Both bar charts illustrate the percentage of Australian viewers of two kinds of TV shows (reality and game). These viewers were divided into two groups according to their gender (males and females) and into four groups according to their age (from 16 to above 45).

Overall, what stands out from the data reveals that the majority of people who watch reality programmes were women, whereas most people who watch game shows were those aged 45 and above (approximately 70%). Additionally, it is clear that the percentage of men who tend to watch reality TV shows was the lowest compared to those aged 25 - 34 who watch game programmes.

To begin with, the rate of women who watch reality tv programmes (slightly under 70%) was significantly greater than that of men who watch the same shows, which was below 40%. Moreover, the percentage of reality shows viewers gradually increased from 50% which is the percentage of people aged 16-24 to nearly 70% of the age group 45 and older.

On the other hand, the rates of males and females who watch game programmes were strikingly similar. Furthermore, the percentage of people aged 25-34 were the least in this category while those 45 years old or over were the highest percentage, with almost 70%.

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
May 6, 2016   #2
Nour, complete the way that you present the information in the overview / introduction of your essay. You accidentally created only two sentences in what was otherwise a very strong start to your essay. Your mistake was compressing the information into the two sentences you presented. Format your opening statement into at least three sentences this way:

(1st)Both bar charts ... (2nd)These viewers ... (3rd)Overall, what stands out... (you can also combine '(4th)additionally...' in this paragraph. It is better rather than separate it)

The first body of your essay also has the same problem. If you don't serve up the information from the chart in the proper way within the essay, you will badly damage your final grade in the essay. I suggest that you approach the first body in the following manner:

(1st)To begin with... (2nd)Moreover... (add one more sentence) (3rd)In the following...

Keep in mind that each paragraph of your essay needs to have at least 3 sentences in each before it can even be considered acceptable by the examiner. The idea is to have you present a complete thought and understanding of all the aspects of the chart you were provided. By limiting yourself to only 2 sentences per paragraph, you fail to display your ability to express yourself in the English language, which is a major component of the scoring system. So the following still needs work.

(1st)On the other hand... (2nd)Furthermore... (add one more sentence) (3rd)Eventually...

You also have to address the lack of a conclusion in your essay. You need to figure out how to develop 3 sentences that will properly close your report review.
OP NourNour 22 / 39 7  
May 7, 2016   #3
Hi Mochtar,

Concerning the introduction, I have checked several ielts books and youtube videos even the ielts website, and all of them recommend that the introduction should be consist of 1-2 sentences, while the overview, which is another paragraph that comes at the beginning or at the end of the essay, should consist of no less than two sentences. The overview in first task of the ielts forms a conclusion, so there is no need for a conclusion in this task.

Concerning the body paragraphs, I agree with. They needs more work.

Thank you for your feedback :))

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