Many countries around the world are witnessing an increase in longevity. Some people would argue that longer lives could bring more positive aspects. From my perspective, in contrast, I do believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
On the one hand, some individuals might consider that an extended lifespan would create wonderful opportunities for the development of the country. For example, if longevity remained stable, individuals would have chances to extend health and productivity which means that they can have more time to enjoy more years of having good health and it is also responsible for economical and social contributions.
On the other hand, the productivity or employment opportunities of a country may not improve because of a significant number of old citizens staying at home or nursing homes. As the demand for labor continues to grow, so the labor market requires a huge number of employees. However, the rate of children being born and the rate of aging inhabitants passing away are not equal. Because of this, many employees have to suffer from excessive stress.
In conclusion, prolonging lifespan is an important element that many countries are trying to preserve but more crucially is the equality of the figure of children given birth and older people. In my opinion, I totally advocate that the upsides of maintaining longevity surpass the downsides.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15171 
4859 Sorry but this essay will not work in an actual setting. You have only 222 words in this presentation when the minimum requirement is 250 words. In most instances, your work would receive an automatic failing score. However, under the new scoring rules, you will still receive points for every scoring section. Sadly, due to the word percentage deduction in your score, those additional points will not help this essay get a passing score. Always count your words. Make sure to write more than 250 words if possible. You are safe in terms of scoring when you write at least 275 words. That is equivalent to 5 sentences per paragraph. You have the potential to score highly in this test. You just have to explain yourself more thoroughly and meet the word count requirement to get that high score.
"Some people would argue that longer lives could bring more positive aspects. From my perspective, in contrast, I do believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks."
In the second sentence i've excerpted from your essay above, you frame your words like you have a differing opinion to the preceding sentence by saying 'in contrast'. But your essay clearly agrees with that sentence.
You should rework it to either have a contrasting statement in the first sentence.
E.g "some people would argue that longer lives could bring about detrimental effects in the long term." From my perspective, in contrast, I do believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Also, in a more general sense, you have not given enough reasons as to why you actually support prolonged lives.
You actually have more content on why it is a bad idea than why you advocate for it, this means you should include more content on how prolonged lifespans can be a gain for a society in more specific terms in order to meet the word requirements as stated by educational consultant. However, do not include unnecessary words for the sake of word counts or that will lose you marks
Finally, you can expand more on the importance of maintaining birthrates as I believe this perspective can make your essay unique to you as opposed to simply choosing a side.
Good luck!
