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A prominent task of universities is to enroll prospective students for further next. IELTS


Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Feb 6, 2015   #1
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


A prominent task of universities is to enroll prospective students for further next. For this personal perspective, an equivalence of the number both male and female scholars should be accepted through university education. As the argument is more likely to be true for some extent, I am personally convinced that people enable to argue with prestigious university when it has two prominent aspects to conscious choose selectively in the case of accepting new students for both male and female: personal ability and high qualified persons.

To begin with, universities should be fair to accept reluctantly the number of both sexes so as to help the dogmatism mind through students' intelligent. It dues to female students are more likely to be shy and cannot expose their understanding of subjects all out when it comes to the majority of male students at class who are more than that to female students. To exemplify, female students tend to avoid a situation class when the comparison of students in both sexes is 1:1. As a result, unfairly accepting the number of scholars affects to cut students down from the class.

Conversely, it is remarkably that large, mixed-sexes class both male and female students enable to create two crucial aspects. Initially, it declines insignificant the number of intelligent people between male and female. For pragmatic instance, scholars get high education at class means that they are predicted to get easy way to gain some jobs compared to uneducated people. This trend results to create the equal number of employments between both sexes. Again, this develops the social sense among inhabitants. When they are used to socialize with the variety of human characteristics, they would easily to have social interaction in this globalization era.

Taking into account from two different points of view, what credibility measurement for leading university is not to put on the sexes among students, but for their personal ability and high qualification. They are the most prominent aspects to incline education development. It does not matter whether a boy or a girl in the class as far they are capable to follow a whole of their subjects. In addition, the students' qualification such as achievement also enables to build the positive sense of university.

On the whole, while the argument to accept the equal number of male and female students still in the hot issue currently; I personally argue that this is not the prominent aspect that should be bear in mind continuously. Where possible, education stakeholders should pay attention at students' ability and qualification to address the name of university to the global world in a positive way.

fadlanmuzakki 15 / 49 36  
Feb 7, 2015   #2
hi Anfalia, I would like to discuss your writing here, while I improve my analyzing skill so as to increase my writing skill.

There are several comments, suggestions, and question for your writing.

GRAMMATICAL ISSUES

A prominent task of universities

I comprehensively understand that you want to paraphrase " important" to be "prominent", but I am afraid that it is inappropriate and is not collocate with a noun "task". Therefore, I suggest you to change it to fundamental/crucial/primary/principal . What's more, "of" is inappropriate preposition so that you can use "in" as a preposition of "task".

For this personal perspective

I am afraid that this expression is uncommon inasmuch as "for" is not collocate with perspective. it will be better if "from this personal perspective"

an equivalence of the number both male and female scholars

why you use "an" for equivalence? do not you think that "equivalence" is uncountable ?. Moreover, "of" is not collocate, so it should be "between"

to be truefor some extent

I do not think that for is collocate, so I think it should be "to be true to some extent" .

two prominent aspectsto conscious choose selectively

1.) Why you favor to use prominent as paraphrase of "important"? I am afraid that it is not collocate with "aspect". Have you checked your collocation dictionary, how to use prominent appropriately? I suggest you to check it whereas I have been checking it regularly.

2.) Are you sure to put an adjective "conscious" prior to verb "choose" ? as far as I am concern, a verb is not commonly followed by an adjective.

this is my suggestion "two fundamental aspects to (consciously) choose selectively..."

It dues to female students are more likely to be shy and cannot expose their understanding of subjects all out when it comes to the majority of male students at class who are more than that to female students

this sentence is uncommon.

KEEP SPIRIT, KEEP STUDY.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 8, 2015   #3
Dear, Anfalia. You have wide range of advance vocabularies. You know, I spend much of my time to open up my dictionaries to understand what the point that you want to deliver. As a reader, I feel that the discussion in some places kept going round in circles. However, let me work with your idea through my intention to make your clarity.

I suggest to simplify your idea, just go straight to the point. Overall this is a good written with good structure. I wait for your feedback as my suggestions are whether or not in line in what purely you want to say.
Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Feb 8, 2015   #4
Your essay would have looked much better if you had somehow conflated the conclusion and your opinion to be honest!
OP Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Feb 11, 2015   #5
wow! thank you so much for all comments. It is really improve my writing.
Fadlanmuzakki, thank you for your suggestion, I've checked on my dictionary.
sHanafi, thank you so much sister, I'll try to do better for my next writing.

Vns9x
" Your essay would have looked much better if you had somehow conflated the conclusion and your opinion to be honest!"
I'm sorry, Actually I don't really know what do you mean of this sentence?


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