The proportion of attendance in fast food chains in the U.S.A. within a 10 year period

The chart below shows how frequently people in the U.S.A. ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

monthly visitors of fast food eateries

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of attendance in fast food chains in the U.S.A. within a 10 year period (2003 to 2013).
Overall, it is observed that people mainly preferred to eat at junk food restaurants either weekly or one to two times a month, whereas only a few paid a visit daily, or did not at all.

In detail, weekly fast food consumers corresponded to roughly 30% in 2003 and slightly increased to nearly a third three years later, before notably declining below 30% in 2013. Additionally, monthly visitors of fast food eateries reached exactly 30% in 2003 and, despite falling by 5% in 2006, they rose up to almost a third in 2013.

Moreover, those who went to such restaurants enough times per week were approximately a fifth in 2003, reaching 25% in 2006, but then decreased to just over 15% in 2013. Regarding people who attended fast food chains a couple of times a year, it is noticed that they accounted for almost 15% in 2003, before downfalling in 2006 and 2013.

Finally, daily and zero attendance were much less, namely just under 5% in 2003, whilst deducting below that in 2006 and 2013.

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Athanasia, you must be consistent in the method by which you represent the figures coming from the bar chart. Since the actual percentages are given in the measurements per year, then that is the information that you should indicate in the summary. Not a fifth, not a third, the actual percentage. Bear in mind that this is a report essay for a superior. As such, that superior will expect to get the actual figures from you since he doesn't have the time to read the actual chart. Therefore, when you use fractional indicators instead of actual figures, the reader is not receiving the most accurate information from the chart, which is the main purpose of this essay.

You should also never place major information, such as the inclusive years of the measurements, in a parenthesis. Those are vital information from the chart as it helps to identify the percentage with the corresponding year. So in the summary, you have to mention the exact years as ; "covering the years 2003 up to 2013). Be very specific. The more specific your information is, the better your score. This is the same thing that you should have done in your final paragraph when you indicated a downward trend for 2006 and 2013.

By the way, in instances when you cannot expand the information to cover 3 sentences, do your best to merge it with the previous paragraph instead so that you will always meet the complete paragraph requirement of the C&C scoring section. Instead of presenting 2 ideas in one sentence, present one idea per sentence instead. That way you present thoroughly developed thought processes and sentences to the reader. It also helps you to get a better chance at creating more complicated sentence structures. Just because a sentence is long doesn't mean it is already complex. It could be a run on sentence because it is either fused or uses comma splices to separate 2 different thoughts.

Overall, this is a more than decent attempt at writing a Task 1 essay. I am confident that you will continue to show improvement as you progress with your future practice tests.