Unanswered [14] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


The proportion of inhabitants by a variety of age groups in a city participated music events from 20


Jun 1, 2021   #1

Music concerts attendance



The proportion of inhabitants by a variety of age groups in a city participated music events from 2010 to 2015 is revealed in the graph

Overall, although some groups experienced fluctuation trends, the youngest going to music concert increased gradually. Eventually, the latter showed the highest proportion.

Initially, even after a sharp increase in the first next year by 10%, the percentage of the oldest went to music concert declined by same proportion in 2012, and the contrast trend by the similar comparison could be seen at those in medium age. While the ones with 55-64 years old showed a gradual increase by 10%, those in aged 25-44 decreased gradually by 10%. Nonetheless, the youngest was the most fascinated to the event, increasing to 58% in 2012.

In 2013, when the proportion of people aged 75 and above going to music events hit a low just under one in ten, they recovered towards the years while those in 45-54 showed conversely trend. Simultaneously, those at 25-44 and 55-64 had shown the controvert trend. The former reached its support at 30% which had been recognized as the latter's resistance, and both bounced back from then onwards. However, the youngest ones continued to grow, revealing as the highest in visitors at the end.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Jun 2, 2021   #2
in the graph

Preciseness is key when describing the image source due to the mental picture, or imagined measurement chart. This will bethe basis of the measurement data for the reader, so identify it properly. Differentiate it from the other graph types.

in a city participated music events

Corrected: ... city THAT participated IN music...

That - pronoun that refers to degree as indicated

In - preposition used to indicate inclusion

Next time complete the summary overview by including a reference to the age indicators / brackets provided to offer a more complete summary. Additionally , use the age references in the paragraphs for clarity. You don't inform the reader of anything clearly when you refer to oldest and medium age in the report. The age brackets provide that clarity.


Home / Writing Feedback / The proportion of inhabitants by a variety of age groups in a city participated music events from 20
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳