The proportion of males and females who have done their driving test in certain area in Asia

Women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test

The bar chart illustrates data about the average of males and females who have done their driving test in certain area in Asia, between 1980 and 2010.

In general, there was a significantly upward trend in the porpotion of both genders who completed driving test, even though the percentage of women was dominated over the period.

Looking at the details, at the beginning of the period, the rates of women who succed in driving test just over 50%, which was the slowest number and this percentage slighty increase nearly 52% in 1990. Continue this trend, the number of females passing drive test reached a peak, approximately 70%. However, this number saw a sightly went down at the end of the period, more than 60%

Besides, the rates of men who passed driving test was rapidly went up in the first 20 years. The number of driving test, which was done by males, was began at around a third percent, and sharply increased to 50% in 2000. This number was remained stable at the end of the period.

The summary overview needs to indicate that there are 2 divisions present in the bar chart. If the writer will review the image, he can see that the male and female results are not a combined result presentation but a divided one. Therefore, that separation of results needs to be clearly indicated for the benefit of the reader. By the way, the paragraph is going to lower the GRA score since it represents a run-on sentence in a presentation that requires 3-5 sentences instead. So the summary overview will be problematic when scoring considerations are applied.

There are definite problems with English word usage throughout the essay. The writer consistently misuses and incorrectly spells words such as


and


Those spelling and word usage errors are only the start of the problems with regards to sentence structure in the presentation. The writer does not show an ability to properly develop a clear thought presentation in his sentences due to the incorrect grammar and incorrect sentence structuring in the paragraphs. These numerous errors will result in 2 failing scores covering the LR and GRA sections. These problems may result in a less than passing score had this been an actual test setting.

The first thing I wanna recommend is to attach an image of the chart you are reporting about so the consultant and other people will have an insight into your writing.

Second, the report is too short to be considered a comprehensively and thoroughly written work

Third, there are so many grammar mistakes you need to work on in this essay:
+ a significanttly upward trend
+ saw a slightly decrease/ fall/ drop of X%". verb cannot be followed by a verb
+ "the percentage of women was dominated over the period" - could not be dominated, it dominated or maybe you could say was dominating but always with the active form. The same for "was remained stable" you should change it into active form

+ succed, slighty, sightly -> basic words in English you need to learn again how to write them correctly otherwise, your score will go down dramatically.

+ "This number was remained stable at the end of the period". I think at the end is a point, but to remain stable means the data has to go through a certain period of time. You should write it like: "This figure remained stable towards the end of the period"

You should read a lot more samples and notice how they combine words, analyse and add details. Your grammar is somehow below the acceptable point.