IELTS TASK 1: THE PROPORTION OF REALITY AND GAME SHOWS WATCHER

A breakdown of the proportion of the people who watch reality and game shows in Australia is described in the bar graph. It is noticable that reality shows are most watched by female and people aged over 35, while the game shows most popular in the watcher aged over 45.

Based on the percentage of the spectators, reality shows are most enjoyed by women and audiences aged over 45 which have reach around 70%, while the game shows is liked by 70 percent of the residents who is over 45 years old. Both sexes reach equal number for the proportion of the game shows audiences.

Turning to spectators' age, the citizens who are between 16 and 24 years old reach approximately 50% in both tv programmes. On the other hand, around 60 percent to 70 percent of 25 to 44 years old watcer tend to enjoy reality shows than game shows, while the 25 to 44 years old game shows audience only at about 40 percent.

Riska, please don't forget to attach the pciture the nexct time you upload a report for review. It will be more accurate for our review and corrections if we can refer to the actual document in reference to your written work. In the meantime, here is a simple review of your current report work.

It is noticable NOTICEABLE that reality shows are most watched by femaleS and people aged over 35, while the game shows ARE most popular in the watcher aged AMONG WATCHERS over THE AGE OF 45.

Based on the percentage of the spectators AUDIENCE, reality shows are most (...) while the game shows is ARE liked by 70 percent % of the residents who is ARE over 45 years old. Both sexes reach AN equal number for ...

Turning to spectators' THE AUDIENCES age, the citizens VIEWERS who are between 16 ...
On the other hand, around 60 percent % to 70 percent % of 25 to 44 years old watcer YEAR OLD VIEWERS tend to enjoy reality (...) game shows audience REGISTERED only at about 40%.

Be consistent, either you spell out the word percentage throughout the essay or you use the correct markings for it on the page. You can't mix both because mixing the two styles gives the report too much of a relaxed feel to it.

I am sorry before, I tried to edit it last night, but I did not find the way
Here the graph.

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  IELTS_Writing_Task_1.png
  

Halo, Riiska.
It is better to complete the way that you present the information in the overview / introduction of your essay. You created only two sentences in what was otherwise a very strong start to your essay.


If I read this overview, the female audiences also dominantly in the game shows. I think the gender and age can be separated into two discussion with simple information.