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Writing Task 1 - the proportions of students attending



Abrahamlincoln 54 / 50  
Sep 29, 2016   #1
The given table shows the comparisons of the proportions of students attending in 4 different educational institutions are the specialist, grammar, voluntary-controlled and community, between 2000 and 2009. It is noticeable that in three educational institutions the total of presented students decreases over the time. By contrast, community school has a significant increase in students attending.

To begin, voluntary was the dominance in pupils attending at 52%, compared by grammar which only stood at 24% while specialist and community had the equal number at 12%. During 2006, community markedly escalated by approximately 20%. By contrast, even voluntary was still the most attendance although it showed a slight decrease to 38% and followed by grammar which decreased to one in twenty while the specialist was the least decrease which only by 1%.

By 2009, the lowest attendance was on specialist then followed by grammar which accounted less than a fifth. Meanwhile, community slightly increased to around 60% which was three times as much as voluntary schools which was around 20% of pupil's attendance.

fauziyahtami 22 / 36  
Sep 29, 2016   #2
Helo Abraham,
Hope you doing well, let me give you some input.
Please kindly check it out

==> ... attending in 4 different educational institutions (.)(New sentence)are the specialist, grammar, voluntary-controlled ...(this sentence is too long, maybe you can make it short)
==> ... educational institutions the total of presented students decreases (ed) over the time.
==> By contrast, (school) community school has a significant increase ...

==> To begin (First/ at the beginning), voluntary was the dominance in pupils attending at 52%(I'm sorry, I did not get what you mention) , compared by (the) grammar which ...

==> ... although it showed a slight decrease(d) to 38% and followed by (the) grammar which (...) was the least decrease which only by(at) 1%.

In this case, maybe you can give the table, it will help to correct your work

Good luck and keep fighting
Best regards, Tami :)
sasariri 17 / 22  
Oct 2, 2016   #3
Hi Abraham..
Let me give some advice.

The given table shows the comparisons of the proportions (...) total of presented students decreasesdecreased over the time. By contrast, community school has had a significant increase ...

Good Job. I hope it helpful...
ReskiRamadani88 43 / 56  
Oct 31, 2016   #4
Hello I will give you suggestion:
1. Please check your sentence using
2. Be careful preposition and conjunction using
3. Be careful article (a, an, the) using

The given table shows the comparisons of ...
It will be good if you say:

The table gives information about the comparison of proportion students which is attend in different institutions between 2002 to 2009. The educational institutions consist of the specialist, grammar, voluntary-controlled and community, .....................................


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