Proposition of Adolescents Attendeing Four Secondary Schools

On this opportunity, these data report about propositions of adolescences whom join four secondary school types in 2000 until 2009. Those secondary school are Specialist, Grammar, Voluntary-controlled and Community Schools. In numbers talk we can see Community Schools as merely school which obtain increasing statistic index with 4.8 times from 2000 with 21 per cent up to 58 per cent in 2009. In other hand with Community Schools, Voluntary-controlled has had biggest take a nosedive in that graphic with decrease almost in 30 per cent with first data in 2000. Not only Voluntary-controlled Schools has had decreasing proposition of adolescences attending but also in other two school types had. In the fact that Grammar School are decreasing their students more than half in proposition in 2000 to 2009 from 24 amount to 12 per cent. But the smallest decreasing goes to Specialist Schools with merely one per cent almost per five years.

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HI Alfa7

you have a good writing but I would like to tell you some things to improve your writing skill

it is much better if your opening is changed to be more attractive to be read, such us the presented table gives information about ......
next, you may avoid some repetitions and replace it by synonym word or collocation. such as, decreasing and increasing that you always repeat. it will be better you use, rise, rocket, bomb, decline, etc

in addition, as far as I concern, writing 1 must consist of 150 words, it mush much better to write at least 170 words to avoid the words that may be did not count by examiner

Best wishes

Hi Alfa, right of the bat mind the words you incorporate in your essay, just like your title, I know it's just a typo error and this is why, proof reading your essay before submission is very helpful.

Having said that, below are my thoughts for the rest of the analysis;

- On this opportunity, theseThe data report - aboutpresents a propositions
- of adolescences whomadolescents who
- In numbers talk weAccording to the data, we can see Community Schools
- InOn other hand, with Community Schools,
- Voluntary-controlled schools has
- had the biggest take,

- In the fact,that Grammar School
- ButHowever, the smallest
- one per cent for almost per five years.

There you have it Alfa, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and for future writing reference, mind the linking verbs, they are crucial in creating a complete sentence.