Prospective parents should be required to get licenses to have children. Do you agree or disagree?

Give me all your suggestions about this essay and average band score, please.

IELTS Writing Task 2: Prospective parents should be required to get licenses to have children.
Do you agree or disagree?

Having a child and proceeding new generation is a great responsibility. Some people claim that young married couples should be forced to have a license in order to give a birth for their child while others are in different standpoint. However, I believe that it is essential for prospective parents to get an official document to have a baby. Probability of being ill with serious diseases as well as incapability of providing a child both financially and mentally will prove this.

Obtaining a parenting license before having a kid will lead to the reduction of the number of children who are abused mentally and those who are not being brought up correctly. In the light of early marriage, some couples might not have enough money and experience to provide their child with a good atmosphere to grow up healthy and well-behaved. Despite this, they still want to have a kid. As the result, the quantity of bad-mannered and neglected children is increasing. Hence, prospective parents should go through the background check, parenting classes and then get a license in order to have a child.

Another reason for why parenting license is needed that it also prevents some children to be born with physical defects. Destruction of the ecology and increasing number of drug abuses, alcohol and cigarettes have been creating some serious contagious illnesses which may be passed on the further generation. Therefore, if people go through the medical check and then get permission to have a kid, there will not be such kind of problems.

Following these analysis, it can be concluded that prospective parents should obtain an official document before having a child. I strongly suspect this will lead to increasing number of successful families with physically healthy and mentally developed children.

Abdul, welcome to EssayForum :) I hope you can do your best in conveying ideas and thoughts about other members' essays. This is also beneficial for your writing development. Then, I would like to try to give you my insights and score prediction towards this essay. I hope this will be helpful.

Task Response:
- You were able to address all parts of the task, your position throughout the response was adequately clear. In addition, you were also able to present, extent, and support main ideas, but supporting ideas seem lack focus. For instance, in the introduction, the focus of thesis statement was for illness and incapability. The second body paragraph (third paragraph) supporting ideas jumped to drug abuses, alcohol, and cigarettes, which also unclear to address 'who will ill?', and the last sentence of the your second body paragraph (third paragraph) tend to over-generalize the term 'people', not all people, it should be parents. However, you can still achieve 7.0 for task response.

Coherence and Cohesion:
- You were able to arrange information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression. You also used cohesive devices effectively, but few of them were inaccurate. Such as 'as the result', it should be 'as a result' because this is the first result, you've never mentioned result before. You were also able present a clear central topic within each paragraph. Therefore, you are able to reach 6.5 for this part.

For lexical resource, grammatical range and accuracy scoring criteria, I think I am going to give it on your next writing, since you already achieve an adequate score on 2 parts. As I know, usually by getting 2 or 3 parts a safe score, the other scoring criteria will follow. So, keep writing and do your best!

Cheers :)

Hi Abdhulay, first of all, I would like to warn you that I will not be able to put a score on your essay as I'm not an IELTS administrator or a officer, anyhow, I would love provide you with the most accurate and needed insights for your essay.

Overall, the argument you pointed is well written, you manage to showcase a relevant essay and the information you included are very detailed and elaborated well. You also made sure that the words you choose are simple and

easy to understand and this helps the readers to better follow through with the argument.

Moreover, the flow of the sentences into paragraphs and paragraphs into the entire essay is very smooth. You can definitely tell a continuous idea from top to bottom. I hope to review more of your essays and though I may not be an IELTS expert, I would rate your essay with an 8, base on how well you presented your arguments and the overall analysis and representation of the essay.