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Writing - Task 2 - IELTS - Protect wild animals



hieunguyen1992 1 / -  
Jul 13, 2023   #1
Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the protection of wildlife is unnecessary due to its waste of time and money. In this essay, however, I will change this school of thought.

Granted, one could argue that investing in wildlife conservation is a waste of money. This is anticipated on the assumption that such an investment would force countries, especially underdeveloped ones, to allocate substantial amounts of money to animal protection campaigns and programs, putting more burden on their financial situation. According to this theory, while these poor countries should prioritize their national budgets to invest more in education, the growth of economics, and healthcare, this matter should be addressed by powers such as the US, the UK, or the United Nations. In addition, the protection of wild animals, especially endangered species, often undergoes a multitude of experiments to find workable measures to save these species, but there is no way to ensure all these experiments succeed, irrespective of how hard scientists work, leading to a waste of time and money.

However, this line of reasoning is not sound because protecting animals is to save humankind. Take, for example, the many vaccinations that have been produced stemming from animals such as snakes, which play an important role in successfully treating thousands of people each year. Thus, the benefits that could be gained from animals are tremendous. In addition, by protecting wild animals, the world's ecosystem balance would be guaranteed. This means that if the extinction of any species occurs in habitats ranging from rainforests to the sea, there will be impacts on the survival of other species. For example, if all herbivore species disappeared radically, this would lead to the disappearance of carnivores such as tigers and lions due to their food chains being destroyed.

In conclusion, to protect the earth's ecosystem and the invaluable resources serving human beings, the protection of wild animals is necessary.

(316 words)

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Jul 14, 2023   #2
I will change this school of thought.

It is nice that you aim to change the mind of the reader. Unfortunately, that is not the correct response for this writer's opinion presentation. It must be aligned with the question that was provided in order to gain a scoring consideration. You have not provided the correct extent response so points will be lost for incorrect response format in the preliminary score ( TA section).

The reasoning paragraphs work very well and show that you have understood the topic quite well. In fact, the response shows you have an interest in the subject that made your defense quite believable. The only problem is actually in the extent response. You did not clearly respond to the question so that cost you points both in the opinion and concluding summary presentation.


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