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Essay About Public Health And Increase In Sporting Facilities



Abby210 3 / 4  
May 28, 2022   #1
SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE BEST WAY TO IMPROVE PUBLIC HEALTH IS BY INCREASING THE NUMBER OF SPORTS FACILITIES. OTHERS, HOWEVER, SAY THAT THIS WOULD HAVE LITTLE EFFECT ON PUBLIC HEALTH AND THAT OTHER MEASURES ARE REQUIRED.

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION? SUPPORT YOUR STAND WITH RELEVANT EXAMPLES.


Some people propose that building more sports facilities would be the best solution to improve the community's health. Meanwhile, others say that sports arenas are not the main factor to achieve better public health without other initiatives. In my view, gyms and stadiums are not as important as a conjunction of various methods.

On the left, improving sporting infrastructure could motivate people to do more exercise. People can gather together at the same place for not only physical exercise but also to make friends and talk to them to ease pressure on themselves. This helps them enhance their physical and mental health. Weight training in a wide space mostly brings higher effectiveness than at home. For instance, according to WHO statistics, the obesity rate in the US has fallen by 20% as a result of states' investing more funds to build sports centers across the country. However, the advancement in public health needs other steps.

On the right hand, the government needs to ensure food apply. Even more, nutrition education should be popular with people, raising public knowledge of the health benefits of a well-balanced diet, and frequent exercise. For example, the media is emphasizing nutrition education initiatives in schools and colleges resulting in a 25 percent reduction in obesity among teenagers in Japan. Consequently, different ways all bring advantages to our community, but not just any of them.

To summarize, adding sporting facilities is not the best effective strategy for our public health, various solutions need to be implemented for our better lives.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
May 28, 2022   #2
The first paragraph shows that the writer is unfamiliar with English word meaning. His misunderstanding of an arena representation and what activities are undertaken at stadiumA forced word usage errors in the paragraph. The second sentence of theparagraph is also a misrepresentation of the alternate discussion point from the orginal. The prompt restatement is not a correct interpretation of the original discussion. As for his personal opinion, it is clear enough when one considers the simple reasoning summary he included at the end. I am just not sure if that will be enough to earn him a passing preliminary base score.

There is no connected discussion presentation in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. The lack of a clear relationship between the reason why less sports facilities are needed in favor of a healthier diet is not clearly explained, The supporting evidence is lacking and weak leading to an underdeveloped reasoning discussion, How does food education and diet relate to healthier people without more exercise facilities in place? That is the connecting idea that would have completed the 2 discussion paragraphs.

The discussion presented lost sight of the central discussion which is whether more sports facilities are needed or not. Note that in the food discussion, a mention of exercise was still made but not properly developed in connection with food education. This was a clear discussion oversight in the presentation. It is not about strategizing but about the effect of building more sports activities venues to improve public health. There is a slight topic deviation here.

Strive for a more complete summary conclusion. Always meet the 40 word, 2 sentence requirement to achieve a higher task score.


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