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PUBLIC UNIVERSITY OR A PRIVATE ONE?


alika 2 / 2  
Dec 19, 2006   #1
Hi, I am not sure if my previous message has reached you; therefore, I want to send my essay again. I will be glad if you helA PUBLIC UNIVERSITY OR A PRIVATE ONE?

The first university in the world was established in Bologna, Italy, by students who were eager to study law. In Turkey, the first university, Darulfunun, was founded in 1863 by the government. Today, in Turkey, there are many universities. The majority of these universities are public universities, while the number of private universities is on the increase. Private universities fascinate students with the opportunities they offer: various social activities, physical facilities, and renowned academic stuff. On the other hand, students in public universities lack many of basic amenities; therefore, they don't attract students. Nevertheless, public and private universities seem dissimilar on the surface, yet they are alike in two important points.

First obvious difference, between private and public univerties is the physical facilities they offer. The libraries, classrooms, cafeterias, sports centers of private universities are more modern than the ones in public universities. Because of the fees they acquire from the students, private universities have enough sources to provide such facilities which cover the needs of the students. On the other hand, students pay very low fees for the public universities; hence, the public universities don't have such facilities for the students. In addition, the government support for public universities is quite inadequate; they even don't have the source to buy new books or magazines for their libraries.

Another area of difference between public and private universities is the social facilities they provide. In private universities, social activities such as: students clubs, seminars, trips, workshops are organized with the support of the universities financial sources. In contrast, public universities have neither adequate social activities nor a regular social environment for students.

In spite of the dissimilarities about physical facilities and social activities of private and public universities, they share some important similarities: both have renowned and prestigious academic stuff and they are eager for academic researches. Although public universities' salaries for the academic stuff are lower than the ones in private universities, there are still very good professors in the public universities. As a result a student can acquire a good education not only in a private but also in a public university.

Moreover, both support academic researches. Many public universities spare an important part of their budget for academic research, instead of sparing the scarce financial sources for social activities. Similarly, the private universities have a budget for academic researches.

In conclusion, public and private universities are dissimilar in some aspects; however, they are alike in two significant issues, they both have adequate academic stuff, and they both support academic research. Although the mentioned differences between them may seem important for some people, the education system of the universities is the most important issue.

p me. Thanks a lot.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Dec 19, 2006   #2
Greetings!

I'll be glad to help with your essay. I think you've done a good job of outlining the advantages and disadvantages of private vs. public universities. Now for the proofreading:

"Private universities fascinate students with the opportunities they offer: various social activities, physical facilities, and renowned academic stuff."

"Stuff" is a very informal word. I would choose something more formal, since this is an academic essay. Maybe "courses" or "offerings" would work for you.

"First obvious difference, between private and public univerties is the physical facilities they offer."

Add "The" before "first" and delete the comma.

"The libraries, classrooms, cafeterias, sports centers of private universities are more modern than the ones in public universities."

Insert "and" before "sports centers."

"Because of the fees they acquire from the students, private universities have enough sources to provide such facilities which cover the needs of the students."

Change "sources" to "resources" and "which" to "to."

"In addition, the government support for public universities is quite inadequate; they even don't have the source to buy new books or magazines for their libraries."

Again, change "source" to "resources." The difference between the words is subtle. In this case, a "source" means something that supplies information, while a "resource" is a supply of available money (a "financial resource").

"In private universities, social activities such as: students clubs, seminars, trips, workshops are organized with the support of the universities financial sources."

You don't need the colon. It's true that the colon is often used before a list of things, but not when you continue the sentence after the list. Also, insert "and" before "workshops" and add an apostrophe to "universities'."

"In spite of the dissimilarities about physical facilities and social activities of private and public universities, they share some important similarities: both have renowned and prestigious academic stuff and they are eager for academic researches."

Change "about" to "between" and "researches" to "researchers" or "research" (this applies to the next paragraphs as well). Again, I would advise using a different word than "stuff."

"Many public universities spare an important part of their budget for academic research, instead of sparing the scarce financial sources for social activities."

"Utilize" or "allocate" might work better than "spare." "Spare" implies that they are making a sacrifice when they decide how to allocate their funds; actually, they are making a business decision. :-)

"In conclusion, public and private universities are dissimilar in some aspects; however, they are alike in two significant issues, they both have adequate academic stuff, and they both support academic research."

Replace the comma after "issues" with a colon. It works best in this case. There's that pesky word "stuff" again! How about using "offerings" instead?

"Although the mentioned differences between them may seem important for some people, the education system of the universities is the most important issue."

I suggest deleting "mentioned." It's already implied, since you are summarizing everything you said before.

I am VERY impressed! You have an excellent command of English. I have seen essays written by native English speakers that are not nearly as well-written as yours. Congratulations!

I hope these suggestions help. It's sometimes difficult to explain to a student learning English just why a certain rule does or doesn't apply to their work. English is a very difficult language to learn; it's full of tricks and exceptions to the rules (as I'm sure you know!).

Best of luck with all your studies!

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP alika 2 / 2  
Dec 19, 2006   #3
Hi, thanks a lot for your suggestions, I am going to give it to my professor on Friday, and I guess on Monday I can tell you my grade:) thanks again.


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