IELTS TASK2 - Is punishment a good way to teach children good manner?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

the punishment lesson

One important stage in a child's growth is certainly the development of a conscience, which is related to the ability to tell right from wrong. The skills come from a period of time and good parenting. For me, parenting has not much to do with this, so I disagree most of the given statement.

For one thing, the question depends on the age of the child. To punish a child is both wrong and foolish since the child wouldn't understand what is happening and why he or she is punished. If the child is old enough to understand, encouragement for good behaviors and discourage for mistakes would be better ways instead of harsh punishments, which might cause some negative situations.

In addition, teachers and parents should provide good modeling in their own behavior to help a child learn the difference between right and wrong. Then, if needed, the punishment should not be physical, it may send a message that it is acceptable for large people to hit the smaller ones, which results in the child starts to bully the others. Also, punishments should not be any way cruel. Instead, teachers and parents can use a variety of methods to deal with the child such as withdrawal of privileges or time-out. Making the punishment fit the crime is useful, the child would understand that being responsible for its mistake is important. For instance, pick up the rubbish they have dropped, clean up the area thay have messed or apologize to someone they have hurt.

In these wats, responsibility is developed in the child, which leads to much better behavior than does punishment.
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please feel free to give me advice, thanks a lot!

The last line seems a little abrupt, maybe you could add two/three more lines to it to the conclusion. Otherwise, the essay seems good! Also, you seem to have forgotten the "with" in "so I disagree (with) most of the given statement."

Hi Ronnia, I see your essay's solution of punishment to child is not strong enough and introduction is slightly short. At 3rd paragraph, you need to trace back your example by supporting back to your paragraph more profound. In summary, you need to rephrase back why you disagreed and which way can improve child without being punishment because you did not agree. Thank you.

Ronia, your discussion went off tangent in the prompt paraphrase section. Look at the following errors in your presentation:

Original Topic: It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.
Your Topic: One important stage in a child's growth is certainly the development of a conscience, which is related to the ability to tell right from wrong.

In your topic presentation, the main discussion became the development of a conscience so that a child can learn to tell right from wrong. Right from wrong became the secondary rather than primary discussion topic. Bad move. You just changed the discussion topic for the essay.

Reasoning Sentence: Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.
Your Reasoning: The skills come from a period of time and good parenting... parenting has not much to do with this...

The only part of the discussion that you got right in this presentation is the last part about the alternative punishment that can be used by teachers and parents.

What does the series of above indicated problems show? It shows that your TA presentation will get a failing mark due to prompt deviation. What is the correct presentation for the opening paraphrase?

Children must learn the importance of right from wrong as soon as possible. In order to teach this lesson, it is believed that disciplinary actions must be taken when children do things perceived to be wrong. I mostly disagree with this statement due to several consideration factors.

The first paragraph is always a restatement of the original discussion. It is the part of the essay that introduces the discussion to the reader who does not know what the original prompt is about. That is why you need to be detailed, specific about the topic, reason, and response you will be giving. This serves as the outline for your discussion. Make a mistake here and you could lose up to 50% of your scoring consideration which means, the first paragraph alone can either help you pass or fail the test.

While your 2 reasoning paragraphs have sound reasoning, the problem in the TA section immediately made it difficult for this essay to get a higher scoring consideration. Most specially since your final paragraph falls short of the required sentence presentation number and information which are:

1. Restatement of the discussion topic
2. Reasons for the discussion
3. Restatement of your opinion
4. Restatement of the alternative punishment
5. Closing sentence

You have the potential to get at least a 7.5 with your writing skills. You just need to do better work when it comes to certain presentation parts.

Thank you for these helpful suggestions! I will continue practicing my writing skills!!

It seems that you repeat many time the phrase "right and wrong", you should change it with another expression.
Also, it seems that you are abit off topic in the third paragraph when mentioning physical punishment causing bullying while your topic sentence is providing good modeling and then you mention method deal with child again.