IELTS: punishment policies in schools

lsalamon 1 / -

Sep 8, 2012 #1

Prompt: In some countries students who misbehave have to leave the school and are not allowed to continue their education. In other countries they can return to their studies after a suspension period. Discuss both options and give your opinion.

Policies at school are tend to assure that everyone is doing the right thing.In addition, punishment policies are existed in order to deal with any kind of abuse or any wrong activity. No one can deny the fact that those policies must be strong. However, the main aim of all policies is to prevent misbehaves but not to get revenge.

On the first hand, we must acknowledge that termination from school is a very effective policy. In other words, students that misbehave will be dismissed from school. As a result, this may lead to ruining the student's life. At least it will have a very bad effect on his/her educational path. At the same time, educationalists chose termination rules in order to be strong enough, so that all students will be afraid of making mistakes. Hence, they will rarely misbehave.

On the second hand, some schools adopt a less restricted punishment policies.For instance, a timed suspension has a very good balance between law enforcement and preserving the value of the student, so that a student can continue his/her educational path after a period of reconsideration. Moreover, this time tend to be a recovery time for the student that will be back in the right direction.

At last, weather schools' policies implementation were pessimistic like termination or optimistic like suspension. They are just rules to prevent any wrong activity and keep everything on the road.

dumi 1 / 6793

Sep 8, 2012 #2

Policies at school are tend to assure that everyone is doing the right thing

This sounds better if you write it in direct speech;
Schools adopt their policies to ensure that there is no room left for students to misbehave.

Policies at school are tend to assure that everyone is doing the right thing.In addition, punishment policies are existed in order to deal with any kind of abuse or any wrong activity. No one can deny the fact that those policies must be strong. However, the main aim of all policies is to prevent misbehaves but not to get revenge.

Your introduction has a few issues.... First it is slightly deviated from what is expected by the prompt. The prompt tells that schools in certain countries maintain very strict policies on student misconduct by expelling them, while in other countries, that have milder policies, pardon their students and let them make a come back. So you need to contrast these two views in the intro and then state which one you support. However, all the sentences in your intro speaks of the same thing, i.e. punishments are aimed at disciplining the students, in different ways and do not support your into to be aligned with the prompt.