IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Purposes of films

Entertainment or education?

Task 2: Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. Others say films should have educational values. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Since the dawn of the entertainment industry, films have been a mainstream recreational pursuit, which can instill multiple lessons in itself in addition to their entertainment values. While some argue that the sole mission of films should be in the form of entertainment, I strongly believe that it should also portray the good and the bad of our society.

Some audiences might deem the inclusion of life lessons in movies a deterrent to a fulfilling cinema experience. People watch films as an escape from real life, as they have devoted most of their time to school and work; therefore, it is justifiable to expect a merely entertaining movie without being forced to grasp the hidden meanings that act as educative factors. For example, an action film fan would not be satisfied if he or she is presented with long-winded talks, which aims to educate viewers at the expense of his or her favorite fighting scenes.

However, I believe films should serve the novel purpose of informing its audiences alongside with the entertaining function. As films and movies are consumed more regularly nowadays, their impact on shaping our perception becomes more evident. A two-hour long film should raise adequate awareness of noteworthy issues such as feminism or environment depletion, rather than only fulfilling our inexhaustible demand for content. A typical case in point is the blockbuster The Avengers. It would not manage to exceed sales record every year without the lessons of humanity it communicates to viewers in every movies. The film shed light on matters such as overpopulation and racism, inspiring the audience to spark discussions worldwide and make problems heard.

In conclusion, while guiding the audiences through an exciting journey should remain the chief aim of films, it is equally important to portray specific human values, not only to avoid the content consumption loophole but also to stimulate people to do good deeds.

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Some sentences are confusing and have vague meaning.
For example, "a mainstream recreational pursuit" does not mean "it can instill multiple lessons in itself" but the way you wrote your sentence interprets that it means.

Or "films should serve the novel ..." ---> what does it inform its audiences?
Best wishes,
Hoa

Some sentences are a bit cònusing and obscure. For instance, ", an action film fan would not be satisfied if ..." The two clauses are not so related

@greynd
Make concise sentences through merging your thoughts and not needing to create separate lines for them. Doing this will not only give you more space to discuss more substantial content through helping you maximize the space you have, but this will also help you avoid being repetitive in terms of content.

Try to avoid using too many filler words as you are typing. Having too many irrelevant words creates an exaggerated structure that does not have progressive thoughts in it. Having said that, try to always omit words that you do not need. If you can remove a word and feel as though the general meaning of a sentence does not change, then opt to remove it.

Moreover, it is important to know the intent of your essay as you are writing. Create an outline before writing out your thoughts. It is quite obvious sometimes when individuals merely write without thinking about the intent and direction because the outcome has a tendency to be messy and unorganized.

Let's revise a couple parts.

Since the dawn of the entertainment industry, films have been mainstream. These instill valuable lessons on top of providing an avenue for recreational work. While some argue that films should solely be for entertainment, I strongly believe that they should also serve as a moral compass.

Notice how evading repetitive words through using synonymous goes a long way. Using more appropriate, formal (academic) language also goes a long way.

Best of luck as you are revising.