The pursuit for higher education of young people in four nations surveyed in three years

Please give this analysis some comments. Thank you so much!

IELTS TASK 1 - FURTHER STUDY

The bar chart given provides information on the pursuit for higher education of young people in four nations surveyed in three years, 2000, 2005, and 2010.

Over the timeframe, the proportion of the pursuers in Country A and Country D rose while the other nations experienced irregular changing patterns. In 2010, there were marked differences in the statistics, especially between Country D and Country B.

The percentage of youngsters pursuing higher education in Country A began at just over 35 % in the first year and increased dramatically in the next ten years. This was in resemblance to the tendency observed in Country D yet plotted less steep. Otherwise, the number for Country B varied marginally between 39 % and 40 % over the period.

Three fifths of the young people in Country D went to universities for their further study in 2010, accounting for the largest ratio in the year. This was followed by Country A whose the distribution was roughly 2 % lower. In contrast, Country B took the bottom position of the graph in the year, at only 40 %.

• 
  Question
  

Never use the term pursuers for students. You may call them, learners, advanced education pupils, or undergraduates, to name a few variations on the word "student". Always use the proper alternative word. You can only do that if you understand the meaning of the word and learn, based on the meaning, what words can be used in its place. If you use a dictionary to look up the term, suggested alternate words are often included as a part of the other information.

You should also be more familiar with alternative words for higher education such as, secondary schooling and tertiary learning. Both of which means "higher education". You need to brush up on your work usage because you need to increase your LR and GRA score. That is done by showing the range of your vocabulary, based on proper word usage within a sentence.

There are some unclear references:

This was in resemblance to the tendency observed in Country D yet plotted less steep.
- Where is the actual information that proves this analysis? This is a data based essay so keep the information accurate and relevant. When making comments about measurements, present the data to prove the observation you made in the report.

@Holt
Excellent comments.

To my understanding, did your last comment suggest that I should include specific data to back up my indication of "less steep"? Also, have I got any significant problems related to grammar? If yes, can you just list some of them; thus, I am able to do further research on Google my own.

Thank you so much!
I really appreciate your time.

Best,
Tutela