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The question is whether women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force

Estu12 1 / 1  
Oct 6, 2015   #1
Write about the following topic:
Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer.

Whether women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force, is a controversial question. According to traditional viewpoint, men are to be defenders of the family and the country, while women bring up the children and keep the house. However, our life has changed for the last years and there are a few countries where women are on the same positions in the army as men, which means there is no agreement on this issue anymore.

To start with, the 20th century was the century of women's struggle for equality, and consequently, the 21st century has become the century of total emancipation. In this context, many people think that having equal rights implies having equal duties. Therefore, perhaps, in Israel women are recruited by government as well as men, and the only chance to avoid this is to have a big family or to be religious. There is also an opinion, that women are more enduring and stress-resistant than men, that gives them an advantage in periods of external conflicts. Besides, it is believed that their presence in the army can relax the atmosphere in case of any tensions between the soldiers.

At the same time, some conservatives argue that conscription of women can be dangerous for our society, as it distracts them from their first duty that is to create a family and take care of their children. People also believe that there are some physiological features which make it hard ro women to be a soldier.

In my opinion, the right decision is somewhere in between. I want to give an example of my own country which army is open for women and, if their physical and phychological state is suitable, they can sign a contract. Their decision is always voluntary, in contrast to men's position who are obliged to join the army for a year. However, women are not allowed to participate in combat operations. I find it hard to say who suffer from discrimimation more in this situation, men or women. To say the truth, I do not believe in universal gender equality, because for me it is undeniable that there is a marked difference between men and women, so their duties can't be the same. If I tried to build a perfect society, I would probably give everyone the right of choice, but would oblige to be responsible for this choice. Then both women and men would be allowed to join the army as well as to avoid it.
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Oct 6, 2015   #2
I think your essay is very interesting, and answers the question well! You present a diverse set of examples which works well.

However your intro and conclusion need to better state what the essay is about.

bring up the children and keep the house...

What about some of the other controversial issues you will bring up? You should mention them in the intro.

I find it hard to say...

If you want to include your opinion, you should make anothrt paragraph for that. Your conclusion should repeat what you discussed in the body paragraphs, much like the intro.

Good start! Just revise the first and last paragraphs to list the main concepts. You can add the paragraph about your opinion, before the conclusion.

ef _carol
OP Estu12 1 / 1  
Oct 7, 2015   #3
Carol, thank you for your tips! I'll try to improve my text according to what you wrote.

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