Hi,everyone, if it possible could you please help me with my essay? I really appreciate that.
Q: What values do you share with XX's "Pleasant Life" philosophy?
Although one of XX's main concepts is "no logo, no brand", it actually has created a powerful culture that shapes its customers' life more quality and positively. Somehow it gives my friends and myself the impression of being closed with customers, not just because it has created numerous multifunctional and thoughtful goods, but also the quiet and relaxed atmosphere in its retails. With nice and polite staffs, everything being placed orderly, goods in similar colors being grouped together and gentle music being playing, it brings people in a garden isolated from the outside chaotic mall. This tranquil atmosphere makes me stop to think about the quality of life and some living moments. Sometimes when my friends and I walk into XX and see its households such as tableware, we will picture the scene we use it. It is happy to find somethings cute and talk with friends. I wish other people could feel this peace as well.
Along with the pleasant surroundings, another key characteristic also attracts me-the simple but well-designed products. When thinking about XX, it will never be too fancy, and the details of the design always make you surprised. Take a notebook as an example, a notebook is quite a basic products. But XX's notebooks are minimalist and clean. It also provides multiple sizes and types of notebook. Some sizes are slightly smaller than a A-5 paper so it is more convenient to take, some sizes are more suitable for drawing. Dot-grid papers, line papers, you can use them in multiple ways. Besides it easily to open so writing on it is comfortable. The paper inside are smooth and are not too thin; the blanks inside are well organized. Basic but make buyers feel satisfied to use it, like many other goods of XX. As for the households, many people like XX's bed sheets, I think the Stacking Shelves are interesting, they can be assembled in different ways, therefore everyone can create their own style. Furthermore, I have seen many people used XX's containers to create a lovely house; many planners used XX's diaries, list notebooks, stickers to organize and record their life. On the social network, many people sleep better or become more concentrated when they using the aroma diffusers. And that is what I think a good design is, you may do not come out with using these products in your minds before, but after using them, you find they are indispensable.
XX's life style is also about being minimalism, avoiding unnecessary. In the making process, the retail will select the materials that are recyclable and sustainable such as recyclable paper, avoid using some harmful materials. The process of producing the goods will therefore cause less harm to the environment.Package is simple and tasteful, products like The LED lightnings reduce carbon footprint. Also because of the sustainable and thoughtful design, customers do not have to purchase for a new one frequently. All of these bring me its attitude and this eco-friendly attitude has influenced me. I believe many other people also like to use environmentally-friendly things and buy things they only need now.
In conclusion, I think XX's "Pleasant Life" philosophy meets my needs.
Hello Killua, I will give you some opinions about your essay.
The first thing is you should make a different paragraph between introduction and the bodies of paragraph which tell about opinions. Mabye in the last sentences of your introduction, you can give such as "I will give you some/ two mains/ three mains opinions about this view". So reader/ examiner can get the point about where you start describing your opinions and giving the reasons.
There is a grammatical error in the 4 lines "...it brings people in
a garden isolatedan isolated garden from the outside of the chaotic mall".
I suggest to reduce using personal feeling, such as "This tranquil atmosphere makes
me stop to thinking about the quality of life ...". I think it should be good, if you use 'this tranquil atmosphere makes some people...'
Such as this sentence, you give better writing style "...Basic but make buyers feel satisfied to use it..."
" Some sizes are slightly smaller than a A-5 paper so [...] the blanks inside are well organized". You actually good give the reader/ examiner an example about your opinion, however it takes too long and I think it is out of topics.
"Furthermore, I have seen many people used XX's containers to create a lovely house; many planners used ...
On the social network, many people sleep better or become more concentrated when they using the aroma diffusers". You put some opinions in the same paragraph without any linking words or transition words. The reader/ examiner will be confused about the relationship between those examples.
The last thing is the conclusion which you write in this essay is too short. It probably will be good if you summarize and rewrite again about your opinions in the last paragraph.
Hi Yunyi, here's my take on the last part of your essay.
- XX's lifestyle ( "lifestyle" - is all one word )
- is also about being
- avoiding the unnecessary.
- In the
making process, the retail willthey select
- recyclable paper
,and avoid using some harmful materials.
- The LED
lightningslightings, reduce carbon footprint. - Also, because of the sustainable
- All of these
bring me its attitude andhas influenced me to practice thisan eco-friendly attitude has influenced me.
- I believe
many othera lot of people also like
- and buy things they
only need now .
In conclusionI conclude , I think XX's "Pleasant Life" philosophy meets my needscorresponds to my life goals and philosophy .
There you have it Yunyi, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.