Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


'Radical reaction and educating / warning people' - IELTS 8 WRITING TASK 2 PAG 79



pitchulinha 2 / 2  
Sep 26, 2012   #1
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?


It is often taken by true that to persistent problems, radical solutions are the best. Any way it is proved that long lasting solutions can only be reached by raising awareness. The same way I don't believe that raising the price of petrol is the best solution to growing traffic and pollution issues.

Increasing the prices of oil is an useless strategy to avoid its uses. This way people don't really understand why they should moderate the usage of petrol and its derivatives, the problems it can cause and the further consequences. People will just be revolted and angry with the oil companies, thinking that they just want to profit upon an environmentalist excuse. Then to worse the situation they will find alternative and cheaper ways to buy gas, oil, diesel and the like.

Alternatively to radical reaction, educating and warning the people is the best option to build a better future. By teaching the population about the dangers that a thoughtless usage of oil and its derivatives can bring for themselves, the harms it can cause to nature and the conscience it is a limited resource, will make them think twice before abusing and wasting it.

Persons that are aware of issues that surround them don't have to make big efforts to change themselves; being aware of the circumstances makes them change their manners gladly.

In conclusion I disagree with increasing the price of petrol, considering that it is a temporary solution that doesn't change people way of thinking. Instead I suggest raising awareness among the population so that it can be a long lasting change.

THANKSSS

layla88 3 / 16  
Sep 26, 2012   #2
Hi Giulia

It is often taken by true that

It is true that

This way people don't really understand why they should moderate the usage of petrol and its derivatives, the problemsit can cause and the further consequences.

I think this sentence is a little difficult to understand, you know it is not so obvious that it refer to what?
My suggestion is to write : the problem that over usage of petrol can cause

Persons that are aware of issues that surround them don't have to make big efforts to change themselves ;

for avoiding repetition write: people who are aware of issues that surround them don't have to make big efforts to change their mind

considering that it is a temporary solutionthat doesn't change people way of thinking .

considering that it is a temporary solution ,which does not affect people's thought deeply or which cannot reduce people's fuel consumption


Home / Writing Feedback / 'Radical reaction and educating / warning people' - IELTS 8 WRITING TASK 2 PAG 79
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳