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IELTS TASK 2 - Railways versus Roads - where tax payers money should go?

nali1 1 / -  
Oct 15, 2019   #1
Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Railways versus Roads

These days, people are discussing how should governments spend their income on transportation. Some people believe that governments should create new roads to improve the transportation system. In contrast, including me, thinks that building new railways is more beneficial and crucial then transportation then making new roads for society.

Firstly, one advantage of railways, which is the possibility of reducing road crashes, can make it more reasonable to spend money. Mostly, road crashes happen because of the drivers' carelessness, such as drivers can be tired, look at her/his phone or talk with someone in the car. Even governments or other organizations create campaigns about drivers' carelessness, these acts still occur. So, governments can encourage people to use public transformation with spending funds to develop new efficiencies and less-time consuming railways instead of creating new roads and made people use their private cars. When governments spend money on railways which have more advantages than private cars, people will choose to use public transportation, and road crases will reduce.

Secondly, from the perspective of governments, they probably will earn more money on railways instead of roads in the future. They will govern the system and take money from each person. Of course, mostly, governments take money from the highways too. However, on the roads, people give money for a car, not for the number of individuals who travel in the car. In the railways, they will charge each person. Of course, logically, people should choose to go with their private vehicles if it will be cheaper; however, a well-structured railway system will be less time consuming and comfortable. So, even it is more expensive, people will choose the railways system because of its advantages.

As a result, both for governments and societies, making new railways is more logical than making new roads because the railway system will reduce the crashes, and the governments can earn more money from the railway system. So, because of these reasons, I firmly believe that governments should spend the transportation part of their incomes on railways.

Hello, I am trying to achieve more than 6.5 points. Can you give me some suggestions about how I can improve my writing? Thanks.

Ali20 7 / 13 2  
Oct 16, 2019   #2
Hello @nali1

These my comments that my improve your score.

I appreciate your way to deliver paraphrase of the question, it is amazing. Furthermore,if you want to get high score you should give general reason of your position. "...that building ... transportation as it the holistic way to reduce a road accident as well as adding government income"

However , you have a variety range of vocabulary that i suppose as your strengh. keep it up!

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