TOEFL Essay: Raise children in City or Suburbs?

It is better to raise children in the city than in the suburb?? Do you agree or disagree?

No wonder, Childhood is the most important stage of human's life especially when this stage has a strong impact which lasts forever. Thus, I personally prefer to raise my children in the city than in the country suburbs.

First of all, I will raise my children in the city, for all my family lives in the city. My children will rise up with the warm atmosphere of their relatives. They will grow up with the all my family, and they will learn how family is important to everyone as well as they will learn how to respect and to listen to the oldest people in the family. Moreover, they will deal with the grandparents and listen to their stories which are difficult to be erased from the memory of the children and that will help them to broaden their imagination and give them a fascinating picture about the world outside their narrow world.

Besides, the atmosphere in the city is suitable for my children to build up their personalities properly to face this tough world. For instance, during my children lives in the city, they will be able to meet many people with diverse characters and experiences that will be addition to their experiences in this life. Accordingly, they will be able to handle their problems and deal with them bravely.

To wind it up, life in the city will be more appropriate to me to raise my children. In fact, we have to be careful about the childhood stage of our children since it will be the reflection of their future and whether they will be successful or miserable in their overall lives.

No wonder, c hildhood is the most important stage of human's life and a strong impact of this stage will last forever. Thus, I personally prefer to raise my children in the city than in the country suburbs.

I think you should give more reasons why you agree with the statement above. You shouldn't write the ways you are going to raise your children.

Thank you so much for your comments and corrections but I think I should agree with one side and I have to give reasons why I believe in such thing from my prospective so this is what I have done.

Thank you

I see that Annika corrected the capitalization at the beginning. The word "childhood" does not need to be capitalized.

No wonder,
Everyone knows that childhood is the most important stage of human's life, especially because this stage has a strong impact which lasts forever. Thus, I personally prefer to raise my children in the city than in the country suburbs. (Add a sentence here to explain your main idea. Explain why the city is better in a sentence at the end of the first paragraph)

For instance, during my children's lives...

in the city, they will be able to meet many people with diverse characters and experiences that will be addition to enrich their experiences in this life. Accordingly, they will be able to handle their problems and deal with them bravely. ---great job!!

:-)

i think you should explain your reasons more clearly in the passage on explaining why it's better to raise children in city than suburbs. try to include some contracts between them.

I have just read your passage and I can give you many arguments opposite your thesis. You must work at your argumentation.I understand you.At the beginning at my TOEFL preparation my main problem was the same. :))

Thank you guys for your comments. I really appreciate your efforts.

EF_Kevin What do you think of this:-

Each one of us admit that childhood stage is the most important stage of human's life as well as this stage has a strong impact which lasts forever. Thus, I personally prefer to raise my children in the city than in the country suburbs due to family and personality reasons.

All of us admit...
Each of us admits...

"Each" is SINGULAR.

Each one of us admits that childhood stage is the most important stage of human's human life and that this stage has a strong impact which lasts forever. (Add a sentence here to tell why you can give kids a better childhood in the city.) Thus, I personally prefer to raise my children in the city rather than in the country suburbs due to reasons associated with family and personality.

:-)