Over-parenting is still most parents do for their children. Is it good enough? Not really, because if we do such a thing to over-doing and over-ptotecting will be unadiquate for the children. Eventough we force our children to become what we want with a perfection. We seem to behave in and make them follow our mind.
Harvard Grant Study said that happiness in life comes from love, not love of work, love of humans: our spouse, our partner, our friends, our family. So, Childhood needs to teach our kids how to love, and they can't love others if they don't first love themselves, and they won't love themselves if we can't offer them unconditional love.
This statement is really make us barinstrom briskly. Why? Because we start everything with wrong mindset. We do everything in wrong way, including nurture our children. So, start from now on, we have to change our mindset to bear in mind and broaden the mind for educate our children.
Hi mdamanhuri77 ,
It's a nice topic, in keeping with that, I have some suggestions for you.
1. "Over-parenting is still most parents do for their children." The composition of the sentence needs to fix a little bit more. Remember that "most" refers to superlative pattern that should be "the most". "Parents" in this sentence should be "parents'".
2. "Not really, because if we do (...) and over-ptotecting, [it] will be unadiquate for the children."
3. "... to become what we want with
4. "We seem to behave in and make them follow our mind." I suggest combining this sentence with the previous one "..., it seems that we behave...." Please pay attention to what you are trying to reveal and choose the effective words for that.
5. The idea in the second paragraph needs to deliver in clear statements. This paragraph needs to transform to another way of deliver because it is a kind of confusing for the readers.
6. The cohesion and the flow of something that we are trying to tell is very important. You have to note that every paragraph should contain with one main idea, supported by explanation, and closed with conclusion at the end of the essay