Promotions based on seniority or performance
In some organizations, promotions are based on seniority, while in other organizations, promotions are based on performance. Discuss the advantages of each position. Then indicate which position you think is best and why.
In some organizations, promotions are based on seniority and are based on performance. Each of this position has advantages.
The advantages of promotions that based on seniority are the member of organization do not have to show high performance to their employer and there will be no competition to get a promotion. First, the more senior they are, the higher opportunity they get the promotion. The senior only wait for the promotion and they do not have to work hard or show high performance. They even do not think about competition with the junior who have better performance.
On the other hand, promotions based on performance have several advantages. First, there is high organization productivity. This will make the members compete against each other to get the promotion. They will show high performance to the employer. This action motivates the member to be more productive. Therefore, it will give positive effect to the organization productivity. What people do is as good as they get. Those members with better performance are worthy. As a result, they may think that it is fair. Hence, the condition of the organization will be conducive, this is the second advantage.
I think promotions based on performance is the best decision. Positive competition between members, high performance, and productivity of the members and conducive condition inside the organization will bring the organization bright future. The more productive the organization, the higher goal they can achieve.
"In some organizations, promotions are based on seniority and are based on performance" --> do not copy exactly words from your question. You should paraphrase, so that it has the same meaning, but with different words.
"The advantages of promotions that based on seniority are the member ..." --> your sentence has three main verbs "are", "do", "will be". It is not acceptable. You should use a relative pronoun ( who, that, which, whose and whom) to introduce a defining relative clause. Personally, I will fix the sentence like this: "The advantages of seniority-based promotions are the fact that members of organization do not have to show high performance to their employers, as a result, there will be no competition to get a promotion."
Hi @vinusi, you could have done a better job of discussing the matter related to promotions based on seniority or performance platform.
First of all, in my opinions, your paraphrasing sentences is quite simple and not really accurate. Personally, I could write this one as follows:
"In some organizations, there have been two ways based on seniority or performance to promote employees for their contributions to the company, but these generate a controversy in the midst of two viewpoints".
Then you have to answer the questions of this topic in introduction passage: "Then indicate which position you think is best and why".
"midst of two viewpoints...Personally, before getting a higher position, the employees have to experience working hours long enough and demonstrate their competence to managers from fair level or higher. But the most crucial element is still performance dedicating profit for that firm."
In the first detail block, you should demonstrate the advantages of promotion based on seniority instead of giving its drawbacks. It does not focus on the requirement of the topic.
all for now, but i think you should use more academic words to rise up their band score.
Thanks