Reasons affecting farmland degradation over the world

CAMBRIDGE IELTS 8 TEST1 TASK1

The pie chart describes the causes of land degradation in the world, and he table illustrates the causes of farmland becoming degraded by three different regions.

The main three reasons affects farmland degradation. As much as 35% of degradation is caused by too much animal grazing, approximately 30% of global degradation is due to forest clearance, and over-cultivation of crops account for 28%.

These causes leaded to different regions differently during 1990. Europe was more serious than North America and Oceania, with 23% total land degraded which was almost twice than Oceania (13%). In Europe, the main cause to farmland degradation was by by tree clearance with 9.8%, while the impact of this in Oceania and North America was minimal, with only1.7% and 0.2% respectively. However, over-gazing was the main reason that caused land-degradation in Oceania (which including Australia and New Zealand) account for 11.3%.

Overall, it is clear that Europe suffered the most from land degradation than other regions since its land destroyed that leaded to less productive for agriculture.

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@LUNA94
Hello there.

First and foremost, I highly recommend that you try to be more concise with your articulation. You stretched a few sentences too thin, prolonging the arguments more as you were unable to compress everything into smaller chunks of phrases. If you can focus more on relaying the information smoothly, it'll help you create more of a dynamic structure.

Take a look and observe this revision:

There are main three reasons factors affectsing farmland degradation. As much as 35% of ... by too much excessive animal grazing, approximately 30% of global degradation is due to forest clearance, and ...

Notice how you can save up on space in your writing if you focus primarily on wordings that you need. For instance, there's no need for you to to repeatedly mention that the context of the figures are for degradation as you had vividly articulated this early on already.

I suggest implementing the same technique or mindset on the latter parts of your essay.

Best of luck.