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TOEFL: The reasons of keeping our old friends



beginner1010 2 / 3  
Sep 20, 2014   #1
Some people prefer making new friends instead of keeping their old friends. Making new friends could provide us with some advantages such as making us more sociable, learning how to interact with different attitudes, and maybe acquiring opportunities for new business; however, I suppose that, except our families, old friends are only people helping us in the crisis conditions. Apart from that, I believe there are many other reasons, because of which we had better keep our old friends.

To begin with, since we usually spend much time with our old friends, we all have many memories with them. The memories make us happy or even sad. Mohammad, an old friend of mine, sometimes talks to me about past memories, when we went to high school. We usually gab about our old teachers and classmates. Insomuch that these memories were interesting for us, we decided to find some of our old classmates. We surprisingly found some of them via Facebook, and I sent them some messages. I really would like to visit them again because I have not seen them for a long time. I hope they respond to me sooner.

The second point I would like to mention is that people who have old friends have learned how they can compromise with spread spectrum of viewpoints for a long time. I believe that someone who has many old friends is able to tolerate others' bad habits. Based on this belief, continuing an old relationship would improve some skills for living such as the ability to bear others' inappropriate behavior. For example, my dad has some friends, whose attitudes are not as compatible as him; however, he is able to interact with them very well. He always says to me that people do not always think as you expect; as a result, we had better try to understand others' strange behavior rather than cutting off relationships.

Most importantly, trust is the most priceless thing that friendships can grant us. Since old friends have been together for a long time, trust automatically would be made over time. In other words, if two people had not trusted each other, there is no doubt that they would not be able to continue their emotional bond anymore. Throughout our life, we all encounter crisis conditions. In such matters, we need someone to talk. In some cases, perhaps we cannot speak about our problems with our family because the problems could be very private, which we would be embarrassed by talking about them with our parents. Therefore, only people, with whom we can speak would be our old friends.

Broadly speaking, by taking merits of keeping old friends into account, I came to the conclusion that keeping our old friends is more important than making new friends. Keeping old friends has many advantages, which would be appealing to anyone. Firstly, we would have many amazing memories to remind; furthermore, we can even talk about our old stories and memories with our kids. Secondly, since we try to preserve our long-term relationships, we learn how to interact with others over time. It would make us be patience towards others' bad treatments as well. Last but not least, an old friendship provides both sides of the relationship with trust.

*******I appreciate your attention. Please, give me your valuable advices to improve my writing skill.

Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I do not know how the title has changed to that sentence!

vangiespen - / 4077  
Sep 20, 2014   #2
however, I suppose that, except our families,

- Here lies the first problem of your essay with regards to content. You never state an assumption or supposition in your introductory statement. You always state a fact as a thesis. You first present the restated prompt and then your point of view (agree or disagree), and then explain a little about how you plan to prove that in the essay.

To begin with...

- This is an irrelevant sentence that does not prove your supposition about old friends being able to help you in crisis conditions. Your second paragraph looks like it promises to do that though.

The second point I would like to mention is that people...

- I was mistaken. This paragraph does not answer the prompt provided either. You said you can rely on old friends support during times of crisis. But you never actually speak of any concrete examples to that effect.

Most importantly, trust is the most priceless thing that friendships can grant us.

- This is the paragraph that should become your first body paragraph. This is the point that relates to the whole prompt. I would suggest you make this stronger by comparing the difference between opening up to new and old friends about your problem. Compare the advice you are given and then talk about how these people know you differently so the advice they give is different. Thus proving that the old friends can be expected to help you more in times of crisis.

Broadly speaking, by taking merits of keeping old friends into account..

- This is a very weak conclusion that does not offer any substance towards restating the prompt as you proved within your essay. That is because the overall essay deviated from the prompt and made no effort to provide clear examples and facts to base the truth of your statement that old friends can help more in a time of crisis.

I must suggest that revise this essay in order to align it more with the requirements of the prompt. Right now, you have an interesting comparison of two friendship types but no emotional or psychological connection that proves old friends are more reliable than new ones in times of crisis. That is the theme of the essay and that is what should be discussed. As for the grammar problems, we can correct those later. The content is more important at this point.
OP beginner1010 2 / 3  
Sep 20, 2014   #3
Thank you for your suggestions.
I wondered how the title has been changed to that sentence. The correct question is at end of the essay. I am sorry for that.


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