IELTS Academic- Task 2
Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person.
Why do you think this is the case?
What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
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It is believed that youth nowadays are into only relationship rather than real ones. Several factors contribute to such issue, including the trend shift of the era and the lack of real life connections. This essay will represent some main driving forces of the problem and suggest a few solution to tackle it.
On the one hand, the advancement of technology is one of the drivers of the trajectory. Due to the ease of accessing to high-speed Internet, teenagers lack of dertermination and desire to stroll around and make friends, since everything is already available at their fingertips. In addition, the false anticipation and beliefs that are hidden by unreal satisfaction resulting from online relatioships are also a noteworthy reason. For instance, teenagers might be deceived into fake connections, believing the opposite are whole-heartedly helping them, thinking that there will not be any detrimental consequence as they are being anonymous online. As a result, youngsters generously open their hearts for strangers who may instill unsuitable opinions into them, taken to a ride that redirects them into believing those are the best relationships they could ever get, creating distant with real-life friends and family.
To cope with this, we need cooperation from both the families and the governments. Firstly, parents could encourage their children to take part in recreational extracurriculum in-person activities, strengthening the family bonds to deter them from immersing in the virtual world. For example, having a picnic or setting off for a journey together can help members to understand the other more, while being detached from the Internet to enjoy the real-life contentment. This will make the young acknowledging the importance and indispensability of families and friends. Secondly, the governments could impose public policies to put pressures and restriction on the giants in technology field, forcing them to create a more constructive online environment, preventing children from being leaded on wrong paths.
In conclusion, the issue is attributed from a variety of reasons, ranged from homehold scale to the whole nation, requiring a comprehensive adjustment to amend and improve the current situation, leading teenagers to a brighter future while also contributing to the progress of society.
*Thanks for your feedbacks
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4786 The essay is overwritten. You should not write more than 300 words for the task 2 essay. That is because you only have 40 minutes for this writing task. You should be focusing on editing yout 300 word essay to avoid point deductions instead of writing extra long essays which more often than not force grammatical and referencing errors in the essay.
Long essay = point deductions
Short essay = better score, less deductions
into only relationship rather than real ones.
Aren't all relationships real? I think you meant to reference online relationships here. This is an easily spotted and corrected error. The problem, is that you focused on length rather than quality of writing. The result of which is a sloppy essay that has so many errors, it will fail based on technical errors.
