Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS Task 2 - Why teenagers prefer online socializing to direct communication.

chidinh 1 / -  
Oct 22, 2021   #1

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socializing online to meeting one another in person.

Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

My answer
When compared to direct communication, virtual socializing gains greater popularity among young people. This essay discusses the possible reasons for this popularity and gives a measure to encourage physical communication in the young.

The first reason lies in the cost-effective and private nature of online interactions. Instead of face-timing, young people can go to a cafe, pay for a drink and have a chat. But using a webcam, teenagers can regularly converse with their friends in the comfort of their home, which is much more economical. Also, online communication allows the young to present themselves in the more private settings of their homes or their bedrooms, which facilitates deeper and more intimate talks.

Secondly, virtual socializing is a safer and more controlled alternative to direct communication. Since people have more control over who they interact with and how the socializing happens, they are far less likely to encounter unexpected accidents. Furthermore, if the person wishes to be alone, he can just shut the camera off. While he can still connect with other people and show them part of his world, he also has his independence.

However, focusing only on virtual communication might hinder children's social development. In order to stimulate teenagers' interest in one-on-one interactions, parents should curtail their children's screen time and encourage them to spend more quality time with their families. Not only does this teach teenagers essential social skills but also sets a good model of healthy interactions. Thus, adolescents will learn the importance of physical communication and naturally opt for such interactions.

Overall, while virtual socializing is favored by teenagers in terms of costs, privateness, and control, parents should make sure their teenage children find a balance between virtual and non-virtual interactions.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,672 4113  
Oct 23, 2021   #2
Instead of face-timing

This discussion point is rather confusing. This phrase in particular, refers to an I Mac or I Phone feature for online video chatting. So it cannot be used as a counter reference for virtual interactions. The very nature of the phrase refers to an online communications platform.

young people can go to a cafe

A cafe is used for physical social interactions. The addition of the word "internet" before the word "cafe" would have made the online interaction reference more obvious and less confusing.

Overall, this paragraph creates confusion for the reader due to improper word reference usage. Reference to online interactions need a better description to suit the prompt topic basis.

virtual socializing is a safer and more controlled alternative

This is the more appropriate and far better referenced discussion paragraph. The miter need not have used 2 reasons as to the "Why" question as only one reason is required. Had the writer used this reason immediately without a previous reason, the C + C and scores would not have been reduced.

The prompt restatement was clear but did not have a thesis sentence.so there is no direct response to the provided questions as task required. So the score in terms of production accuracy is also going to be lower as it does not follow the expected summary response format.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Why teenagers prefer online socializing to direct communication.