Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Reasons of teenagers' online socialization and measures for in-person relationship



kyanh0211 1 / -  
May 22, 2023   #1

Reasons of teenagers' online socialization and measures for in-person relationship



In this era, technology has played a role as an assistant in every aspect of human life. Sociliazation is not an exception in which social media act as a bridge to connect people of numerous areas and languages. However, young adults who are frequent users of technology are encouraged to maintain relationships with other people in person. This writing will concentrate on the reasons why teenagers prefer socializing online and suggestions to foster in-person relationships.

In terms of beneficial influences, online platform are solutions for geographic distance and language barriers. First, social media is a place for people to display their ideologies, which can be accessed by other users. Things in common are a stimulus to connect people regardless of how far they are. The relationships are constructed and maintained thanks to evolutionary modes of communication such as video calls and text messages. Facebook and Instagram are dominant in that duty. Second, to minimize troubles caused by language differences, technology users can effortlessly take advantage of charge-free e-dictionaries when communicating with foreigners. Likewise, digital translators are integrated in the platforms like Chrome and Safari with the assurance that users' conversations are not interrupted and troublesome. Relationships across the border are the motivation for people to acquire foreign languages chargelessly and naturally.

However, human life can not be circled within phones and laptops. Young people had better connect with others in person to encounter more realistic problems which enhance their life skills. Schools and private centres should be pioneers in accomplishing that mission. Summer camp is a typical measure of generating an environment where participants can interact with each other to solve quizzes and do voluntary work, which results in skills and knowledge enhancement. Moreover, cultural events in local areas or in a small scale like a university should be promoted so young people can display the beauty of their hometown and learn new knowledge from their friends.

To conclude, technology catches more attention from young people because of virtual distance reduction and language barrier removal. Conversely, in-person interaction should be simultaneously developed with support from educational institutions and local authorities.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15466  
May 22, 2023   #2
Your prompt paraphrasing is way off base. It is not connected in any way to the original presentation. You actually skipped the task requirement in relation to the paraphrasing and writer's opinion. You started the discussion right away, which means a failing score for your preliminary TA assessment. Always work on representing only the original discussion in the paraphrasing + writer's opinion paragraph. It is important to your preliminary score.

I believe that you have misunderstood the prompt which led you to the incorrect discussion format in your presentation. You should have answered this essay using the following guide questions:

Why do you think this is the case?
What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Your relevant response only comes in when dealing with the second question. So that is the only section that will receive a score. In this case, it may not be an overall passing one.


Home / Writing Feedback / Reasons of teenagers' online socialization and measures for in-person relationship
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳