Recent research has shown that business meetings and training are increasingly taking place online.

The survey shows that online business meetings, discussions and training are becoming more and more popular. In my opinion, although there are two aspects to this argument, I tend to believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

It is sensible for some people to think that online work is more convenient. This is because working online allows them to work at anytime and anywhere, they could attend more meetings and events, which is impossible without the Internet. However, I believe that they have forgotten the impact of network speed on online work. If the Internet gets stuck, their experience would be terrible because of the intermittent work. Their work's efficiency might not be improved, but also seriously decreased. This might contrary to their initial purpose and inherit the disastrous consequences.

On the other hand, working face-to-face seems to be more efficient. When people contact immediately, they could detect the change of other people's behaviors and emotions, and also measure how interested someone is in what are they talking about by reading their body language, which might be significantly essential for ideal communication. For example, if someone's legs are head to the door, that means they might want to leave. We could know it once we are seated in front of them and this is unfeasible when we work online.

In conclusion, I concede online works bring substantial benefits. Nevertheless, for the reasons mentioned above, I have a firm belief that the detriments of it gain the upper hand over the benefits.

The phrase used for the topic sentence is "recent research has shown". Your reference to "The survey shows" is incorrect. A more appropriate presentation would have been; "New information shows a more frequent occurrence of..." You cannot use the same reference words as the original. You will be given less score in the LR section for using cut and paste words. Build your synonym vocabulary so that you can use alternative words for the original keywords. Do not offer an opinion regarding the advantage and disadvantage because that is not being required in the presentation. You are being asked to present a comparative discussion of the advantages and disadvantages, you are not being required to present a personal opinion.

Why are you conceding in the final paragraph? Again, do not present an opinion where it is not required, You will continuously receive scoring deductions because of that. The concluding paragraph should wrap up the discussion with a restatement of the previous presentation only. Nothing more, nothing less.

@Holt
The original requirement was "Do the advantages of the outweigh the disadvantages?" I forgot to add it. However, thanks for your helpful suggestions.