Hey everyone! Would someone please revise my essay and in a number listing form explain why would this should be added/removed/edited!!!! So I can therefore revise my own based on your judgment please! thanks!
Moe T.
October 4, 2010
Essay 1, Rough Draft 1
Would you sacrifice short term satisfaction for long term pleasure? One problem that I faced was the habit of insufficient sleep, due to being easily distracted by watching movies, staying out late and basically enjoying myself. This affected my school work, my personal life and my emotions. The key ingredient that solved my problem was delayed gratification, one of the four discipline tools in "The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck discusses in his story.
I was the type of person to get easily distracted and be a hypocrite. Meaning, at any given moment I would let my temptation of unnecessary things seize my necessities. For example, I have a class on a Sunday around 8:00am-12:00pm and I was invited to a special exclusive birthday party. So this is where the inner conflict erupts, should I stay home and sleep early for class or enjoy myself out just this one time? This is a problem that I faced for many years, and it would make me into a hypocrite afterwards. Day by day, week by week the outcome of this gave me a heavy load of stress, in school and work. I would do last minute papers, study the day before an exam and come into class late. As for work, I would look very weary and not motivated nor determined as I once was.
The name its self "delayed gratification" means, the capability to resist an immediate satisfaction in order to achieve long term pleasure. Now, how does someone utilize it? It's as complicated as it sounds, for me it took a year and several months. To actually become accustomed and adapted in your life. Some people actually struggle with this method but nevertheless they fall short after many try's, because in my opinion its lack of mentality. For example, my older brother has a problem with his weight and I tried to convince him that no matter how mouth-watering the food was, your one step away from becoming that "new" guy he always wanted to be. As days go by, and the obstacles are placed, to but his desire to the ultimate test, he would eventually live in the moment; and falls. To completely accomplish this tool, you have to have the desire for need rather than want.
In the story "The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck writes how life is very difficult with his advice from experience, is to learn how to accept things, tied with his principles of his "discipline tools" by implying them to our lives which fulfills us as a human being.
As the problem I faced and the tool that helped me not only for my ability for school but for my life in many positions I will be in. The cherish long lasting fulfillment is go through many situations and never fail after trying, because in order for growth you need to experience mistakes and have a strong desire for what you need over what you want.
The key ingredient that solved my problem was delayed gratification, one of the four discipline tools discussed by Scott Peck in in "The Road Less Traveled." --- How about this way?
I challenge you to come up with a better word than hypocrite. You can only be a hypocrite if you are judging other people and criticizing them for doing things that you also do. That is what a hypocrite is. What word are you looking for?
The name its self "delayed gratification" means, the capability to resist an
The name its self term "delayed gratification" means the capability to resist an...
...after many trials, because in my opinion its lack of mentality mental preparedness.
In the story "The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck writes about how life is very difficult with his advice from... this is a very short paragraph! You should write more about the story.
:-)
