TASK II IELTS regarding of the world becoming popular to research the history of owns family

TASK II QUESTION

In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. why might people want to do this? is it a positive or negative development?

Conducting research regarding their own family is more popular as this can attract hereditary diseases from family members. I strongly believe that this information could bring benefit younger keenly aware of their health, decreasing congenital disease.

Research on the past of family members is for attracting hereditary diseases, so the research would have information about families member who might have a certain disease. That is to say, the researcher will be gathering all information concerning the medical history of family members from past to present whereas they would analyze the information.

The information from historical research on family is useful for younger who have the congenital disease for helping them more aware of their illness, so they begin to change their habits to a healthy lifestyle, taking care of healthy food. If the research is compiled information with comprehensive, the young generation with the congenital disease has a wide opportunity to live longer.

In conclusion, the young generation has more opportunities to avoid the risk of congenital disease because of information that researchers had been attracted by the research history of medical families. If possible, the research should be done regularly to prevent new one of illnesses.

Since this a task 2 essay , it should meet the 250 minimum word requirement. Writing only 198 words will result in an overall failing score since the lacking word count will result in applicable task score reduction. The writer appears to be currently unfamiliar with Task 2 writing requirements so he should familiarize himself with these first.

Serious grammar issues related to word usage and sentence formation have resulted in a difficult to understand writing piece. I literally found it difficult to understand his written thoughts. He fails to write with any clear sense most of the time. He will definitely fail in the C + C section. This is seriously a non-passing essay presentation. I strongly urge him to enroll in ESL classes to fix this specific problem.

I will reserve further comments and observations about his writing problems at this point. It is already obvious that he did not do a good job with this essay. I have pointed out his major problem points. I hope he can address these before he tries to write another essay of any sort in relation to the IELTS test.

I'm not going to judge your performance in TA, LR and CC. Holt has already made a comprehensive assessment, and my understanding of the other three is not comprehensive. I will only talk about your grammar mistakes.

1. You need to be aware of some formatting issues, including capitalizing the first letter of the first word of the sentence.

2. In the second paragraph, you wrote 'families member'. I'm sorry this is a wrong expression, it's a fixed phrase 'family members'.

3. In paragraph 4, you cannot say 'for younger who'. 'younger' is not a noun, it is an adjective and therefore cannot be the object of a sentence. Better to replace it with 'younger people who'.

4. In paragraph 4, what do you mean by "If the research is compiled information with comprehensive"? If I understand you correctly, you probably mean 'If research compiles the information comprehensively'.

5. At the end of paragraph 4 and at the beginning of paragraph 5, you wrote 'young generation'. The correct set phrase is' younger generation '.

Also, I really have a hard time understanding what you're trying to say in your conclusion paragraph.

I hope these suggestions will help you prepare better for IELTS writing. I'm looking forward to seeing your improvement in your next essay.

Have a nice day!