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ESSAY: RELATED TO COMPUTERS vs EDUCATION



cisco 1 / 1  
Dec 5, 2014   #1
Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that learning online is the best way to learn, whereas some claim that it is still better to attend a class with a teacher. Discuss both sides of this argument and the give your own opinion.

(250 words / 40 minutes)


Education online has brought forth great beneficial for many people all over the world since the communications' evolution. Many tend to believe that by using technology they will become more motivated, or in the best cases, be self-taught learners, whereas others realize that face-to-face classes is much better. In my opinion, the latter is the best choice because attending classes via Internet may result in tedious or be ineffective within certain occasions. This will be proven by comparing how both work.

To be taught online may seem suitable for all people even those who may be seen as picky. Just take universities based on websites as an example. There are huge likelihood of abandoning from students after attending some online classes. This occurs because most of them may feel dismayed or even prioritize other activities. Thereby, this method is only efficient for certain types of people, such as those who are self-motivated or have a good sense of responsability.

Face-to-face classes are correlated with the relationship between students and teachers, so each one may be taught differently based on affinities and aptitudes. For instance, when a teacher expounds subjects for their students by using this method, he or she may analyse their progress precisely through several techniques, which may go beyond traditional approaches. These techniques may be catalysts to identify students' aptitudes and concerns. Therefore, it is clear that this method is more efficient and opens up certain avenues for pupils.

Following this look, it is clear that face-to-face classes encourage students to go further and develop their aptitudes much better when comparing with online way. Despite recognizing in the future there will be many schools based on Internet, educators will never be substituted. Thus, face-to-face classes are certainly matchless and suitable for everybody, depending on the way of teaching only.

maiquynhbui 1 / 2  
Dec 5, 2014   #2
Hi. I hv some comments about ur essay
First, I think u should use the word better instead of best in the sentence "In my opinion, the latter is the best choice..." u can write : " In my opinion, the latter may be a better choice.." Cuz it's just ur opinion, so u should use hedging word in the statement that the info or idea is not 100% certain.

Second, I think the idea is not clear.
Just my opinion. I hope my comments r helpful for u. :)
vangiespen - / 4077  
Dec 7, 2014   #3
You present a number of reasons to advocate for online learning but neglect to discuss the position that advocates face to face or classroom learning. Without the discussion of both point of views, your essay becomes weak and one sided. A balanced essay always requires both sides of the issue be discussed prior to the presentation of your own opinion. The lack of opposition in the essay weakened your discussion. You also do not present a clear idea of what your opinion on the matter is which further creates a non compliant essay in terms of responding to the required prompt. You will have to revise this essay to reflect its short comings if you want to have a stronger essay presentation.
OP cisco 1 / 1  
Dec 8, 2014   #4
Thank you so much for your feedback!


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