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IELTS TASK 1 : RELATIONSHIP WITH SUPERVISOR


Abraham22 20 / 11 15  
Sep 20, 2015   #1
The pie charts show a survey describing the closeness level of staff members between advisory staff and fellow workers during 2005 to 2009 and is measured in percentage. Overall, the most obvious pieces of information are that the quality of relationships among employments seems more excellent. Yet, the proportion of employees feeling that they don not have a supervisor or co-workers simultaneously also increase over the 4 - year period.

Turning to advisory staff, between 2005 and 2009, the very-good item saw a gradual increase of employee relationships with supervisor, from 61% to 65%. Moreover, the proportion of their estrangement, also grew by 4 percent. Interestingly, the productivity of workers to answer the survey experienced a progress. On the other hand, while two items, fair and good, witnessed a minimal drop, poor item still was in its position at 2% over the period.

Regarding to co-workers, standing at seven in ten, the relationship between workers and fellow workers witnessed more excellent relationships over the period. Nevertheless, the level of the item (do not have co-worker) concurrently also raise of 2 percent. Furthermore, although two fair-and-good items presented a moderate fall, poor relationships item had not been become choice anymore of employees in end-of-period time.



Bayuwibowo 48 / 73 21  
Sep 20, 2015   #2
Misspelling :
Yet, the proportion of employees feeling that they don notdo not have a supervisor or co-workers simultaneously also increase over the 4 - year period.

On the other hand, while two items, fair and good, witnessed a minimal drop, poor item still was in its position at 2% over the period.

let me try to re-write :
On the other hand,while a minimal drop had witnessed in fair and good relationship with supervisor, poor item was leveled off at 2% between 2005 and 2009

To many conjunction, maybe you can omit several of it ( Yet, Moreover, Nevertheless, Furthermore, etc.)
Dear brother,
my tips maybe not exactly right, but i hope it can helps.
Good luck!


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