Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

'remarkable rise with slight fluctuations' - Japanese tourists on the trip


Angel Lolla 1 / -  
Aug 10, 2014   #1
The chart below show the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.

The bar chart illustrates the statistics of travelling abroad by Japanese during a period of decade. And the line graph reveals the percentage of Japanese tourists who visited Australia during the same period.

A general observation, the bar graph showed an upward trend along the ten - year period. The first five years saw a gradual surge in number of Japanese travellers ,starting with only 5 millions to reach a peak of 11 millions in the year 1990. And unexpectedly the number has dropped by 2 millions in 1991,nevertheless, in the latter four years it again increased significantly hitting a peak of 15 millions in 1995.

The percentage of Japanese tourists who came to Australia was initially 2 %. And then continued to increase rapidly to somewhere in the vicinity of 5 percent through the next 3 years. Followed by an abrupt fall to approximately 4% in the year 1990,however,the latter five years saw a rapid climb reaching a peak of 6.5 percent.

Overall observation, both charts showed a remarkable rise with slight fluctuations,but even though the two figures ended up hitting the highest points.

tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Aug 11, 2014   #2
If I were you, I prefer writing overview paragraph rather than conclusion. Based on IELTS writing task 1 band descriptor, Overview paragraph must be written and it should be placed after introduction. If you ask me why must be written after introduction? it is due to some IELTS candidates don't have enough time to write this paragraph if it is written in the end of writing. Moreover, Overview can lead your score. Thanks.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'remarkable rise with slight fluctuations' - Japanese tourists on the trip