Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Task 2 Who Have The Responsibilities To Teach Children To Be A Good Members Of Society?



Faridadwi18 67 / 93  
Aug 27, 2016   #1
Question : Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

As a part of communities, people need to have a good social skills so that they can have a good relationship with others. Some inhabitants believe that people who are responsible to teach children are their parents while others think that school have to do something about it. I personally believe that parent is the one who have to take this as their obligation.

The first person who children now is their parent and they are the people who shape their child character. It is better for them to teach about how to behave and how to have a good personality in order to adapt with their environment. Childhood is a time when children become follower of their parent. Whatever their parents do, they will follow it.

Children spend most of their time in the school so they need to take in charge to teach their student about how to make friends and well-behave in their society. The duty of school not only to teach but also to educate their student.

Although children spend most of their time in school, I think parent still have the biggest responsibilities to create their children to have a good character. By getting involve with their activities and try to be their friend will help parent to have better relationship with their son or daughter.

To conclude, become a good member of communities is not an easy thing. Children need to learn many things from their mother and father also from their teacher in school. However, parent have bigger responsibility to this matter.

ekalamarsyari11 72 / 101  
Aug 27, 2016   #2
I personally believe that parent is the one who have ...
I personally believe that parent have to take this as their obligation. => make it simple

The first person who children nowknow is their parent and theyare the people who shape their child character. => they is not the correct pronoun of person

The first persons who children know are their parents and they are the people who shape their child character.

Children spend most of their time in the school so they need to take in charge to teach their student =>pronoun 'they ' in this sentence makes readers wonder is it refer to school or to children

The duty of schools not only to teach but ... => using plural noun gives general meaning for your sentence


Home / Writing Feedback / Task 2 Who Have The Responsibilities To Teach Children To Be A Good Members Of Society?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳